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HomeOff Topics › Ground crew humour!
11-29-2015 09:30 AM  34 months agoPost 1
shawmcky

rrElite Veteran

Isle of Wight,United Kingdom

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After every flight, QANTAS pilots fill out a form, known as a 'gripe sheet' to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form.

Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a 'P' and the solutions recorded (marked by an 'S' by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humour:

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced.

P: Test flight OK, auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed in cockpit.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Team- unbiased opinion.K.I.S.S principle upheld here

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11-29-2015 01:48 PM  34 months agoPost 2
Girard Ibanez

rrVeteran

Tucson, Arizona (formally from Guam)

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LMAO, I like this.

Thanks OP for posting, made my morning.


Team Thunder Tiger
since 6/2005 to 12/2014

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11-29-2015 03:20 PM  34 months agoPost 3
GyroFreak

rrProfessor

Orlando Florida ...28N 81W

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That is funny.

I think about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, then wonder what I'm here after ?

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11-29-2015 04:11 PM  34 months agoPost 4
gmcullan

rrKey Veteran

Southbridge, MA

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This has been around for a while, but it's still funny.

Gerry Cullan,
Gaui 200, 255; T-Rex 250, 450 SE & SA, Mini-Titan, Blade 450

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11-30-2015 12:57 AM  34 months agoPost 5
jharkin

rrApprentice

Holliston, MA - USA

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This has been around for a while
Understatement of the year. I remember getting this one in my email during college... in the 90s.

Funny stuff no doubt.

-Jeremy
Whiplash-G
Helix 700G
T-Rex 450 fbl conversion
alot of planks

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11-30-2015 08:36 AM  34 months agoPost 6
shawmcky

rrElite Veteran

Isle of Wight,United Kingdom

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Last time i ignore a"Sell by"date

Team- unbiased opinion.K.I.S.S principle upheld here

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11-30-2015 11:10 PM  34 months agoPost 7
gologo

rrKey Veteran

Sedalia, Mo USA

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Last time i ignore a"Sell by"date
Hey, that is just as funny now as when I first seen it. Thanks for posting.

Good stuff!

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12-08-2015 12:19 AM  34 months agoPost 8
AirWolfRC

rrProfessor

42½ N, 83½ W

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