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01-07-2015 11:09 AM  3 years agoPost 1
shawmcky

rrElite Veteran

Isle of Wight,United Kingdom

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http://www.tickld.com/x/actual-exch...-control-towers

Team- unbiased opinion.K.I.S.S principle upheld here

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01-07-2015 02:27 PM  3 years agoPost 2
Heli143

rrElite Veteran

Phenix City, Alabama

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those were funny as hell, especially the last one!!!

Roy Mayoral

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01-07-2015 10:04 PM  3 years agoPost 3
gologo

rrKey Veteran

Sedalia, Mo USA

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Those were great! 'noise reduction' -----"was there in '44.......but never
landed".....

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01-07-2015 11:15 PM  3 years agoPost 4
gologo

rrKey Veteran

Sedalia, Mo USA

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This is an old email my brother forwarded to me years ago, couldn't paste it for some reason, sooooo here goes..

"Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called
a 'gripe sheet', which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, has ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked w. a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.......( is this still true, don't believe it is)

P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S)Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P)Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S)Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.

P) Something loose in cockpit.
S) Something tightened in cockpit.

P)Dead bugs on windshield.
S)Live bugs on back-order

P)Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200ft per min descent.
S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P)Evidence of oil leak on right main landing gear.
S) Evidence removed.

P)DME volume unbelievably loud.
S)DME volume set to more believable level.

P)Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S)Thats what friction locks are for.

P)IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S)IFF IS inoperable in OFF mode.

P)Suspected crack in windshield.
S)Suspect you're right.

P)Number 3 engine missing.
S)Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P)Aircraft acting funny.
S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P)Target radar hums.
S)Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P) Mouse in cockpit.
S)Cat installed.

P)Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S)Took hammer away from midget."

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01-08-2015 09:05 AM  3 years agoPost 5
shawmcky

rrElite Veteran

Isle of Wight,United Kingdom

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Team- unbiased opinion.K.I.S.S principle upheld here

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01-08-2015 02:22 PM  3 years agoPost 6
NRoof

rrApprentice

Palmyra, NY

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One of my favorites.
Long but worth the listen

Watch at YouTube

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01-08-2015 02:35 PM  3 years agoPost 7
ferincr

rrVeteran

From Argentina now in Costa Rica

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I was about to post that one, it's great!

Intelligence chases me, but I'm a lot faster! Fernando

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