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Home🌌Off TopicsOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Things you will never see on a Hallmark card
04-06-2013 08:32 PM  6 years ago
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ticedoff8

rrKey Veteran

Morgan Hill, CA. USA

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Things you will never see on a Hallmark card
1. Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it ...
She moved in with me!

2. I've always wanted someone to hold,
Someone to love, someone who's mine.
Now that I've met you ...
I've changed my mind.

3. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
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04-07-2013 03:16 AM  6 years ago
Rockohaulic

rrElite Veteran

Canyon Country, CA, USA, 3rd Rock from the Sun

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Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'd french kiss a cow before I'd kiss you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.
Now that we did it, I'm dumping you!

Roses are red, violets are blue.
Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.
Saturday morning I flew my helicopter in my pajamas
How it got in my pajamas I'll never know
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04-17-2013 04:27 AM  6 years ago
freakyreef

rrKey Veteran

Kansas\Colorado border

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Here is one I made up for my Mom on Mothers day. several years ago.
She did get a kick out of it though.

"Mommy dear, your really the most, now get your arse out of bed and make me some toast."
Walk on water long enough, eventually you will get your feet wet.
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04-18-2013 06:44 PM  6 years ago
l-milk

rrApprentice

SPARTA

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Remember no one loves you like you do.
So just be happy for that ...
just fly
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