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07-28-2012 10:09 PM  8 years ago
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Heliluya

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Mount Dora, Florida

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F-4 vs B-52
During Veitnam war, F-4s was used for escourting the B-52 on bombing missions over North Veitnam. Since NV will not send their MIGs to confront the B-52 with an escourt the fighter pilots got bored so they began goofing off around the bomber, one F4 did a loop and the other did circle around the bomber and laughed saying to the bomber pilots, Bet ya can't do that!
5 minutes gone by B-52 to F-4s: bet you can't do that!
F-4 to B-52: do what, we did't see anything.
B-52 to F-4: I just shut down 2 of my engines and still flying.
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07-29-2012 02:50 AM  8 years ago
FloridaHeli

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jacksonville, florida

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I like the one where the B52 pilot tells the fighter pilot to watch this. Twenty minutes later the fighter pilot says "what did you do"?

The B52 pilot replies "sorry I had to go to the bathroom...."
This hobby is WAY too expensive!!
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07-30-2012 04:17 PM  8 years ago
bbaxter

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Central Illinois

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...or the B-52 pilot says: "I just got another cup of coffee."
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08-03-2012 02:42 AM  8 years ago
Dagigalo

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Buffalo IA. USA

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Or the B-52 pilot sais I just ended the war.Gravity SUCKS!!!!!
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08-03-2012 12:40 PM  8 years ago
Dagigalo

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Buffalo IA. USA

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My bad that was a B-29.Gravity SUCKS!!!!!
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08-22-2012 01:47 AM  8 years ago
jgunpilot

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Pollock, LA

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An F-4 and a C-5 are cleared to different runways and meet at an intersecting taxiway. They both stop and wait, nobody moves. The F-4 gets on ground freq and says, "C-5, state your intentions!" After a short pause, the nose of the C-5 begins to lift up and across the radio comes, "I'm going to eat you!"
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09-03-2012 01:42 PM  8 years ago
RCHSF

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NC

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I loved them all.

Heres some. Most of you have read them but a few newbies may get a kick out of'um.

In his book "Sled Driver" SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope.
I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed."90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout. There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty."
Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause.....
"Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
--------------------------
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000 ft). The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet?
The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
-------------------------------------
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
------------------------------------
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
-------------------------------------
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ahhhh," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
--------------------------------------------------
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right to 220 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
....(pregnant pause...) "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

A bit of history.....................

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Advice given to RAF pilots during WW II. When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author &aviator)

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.
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