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HomeOff Topics News & Politics › The New Obamacare Super Computer
03-12-2012 03:36 AM  6 years agoPost 1
Dennis (RIP)

rrApprentice

Oregon

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The New Obamacare Super Computer

Part of Obamacare includes new medical super computers that are designed to lower the cost of medical treatments by accurately diagnosing your ailments. Obama ordered a meeting in the oval office with the inventors for a demonstration.

The lead inventor brought in the machine and said, "Mr. President, this machine will save the country millions. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs only ten dollars per diagnosis - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

Eager to be the first to use the machine the president offers a urine sample. After filling a jar, Obama deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for using Obamacare."

Obama didn't want more failures like Solyndra and the Chevy Volt so he ordered all the inventors out of the room so he could give it a more thorough test. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from Bo (his dog), urine samples from his wife and Joe Biden, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Obama hurried back to the Obamacare computer, eager to check the results. He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer printed the following:
1. The tap water at the White House is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. The vice president has a cocaine habit. Get him into rehab.
4. The first lady's testosterone levels are too high.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for using Obamacare!

Liberty once lost, is lost forever.

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