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HomeOff Topics News & Politics › Watch Out! Polar Bear Cannibalism Rises on Global Warming!
12-17-2011 06:39 AM  6 years ago •• Post 1 ••
Dennis (RIP)



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Watch Out! Polar Bear Cannibalism Rises on Global Warming!

by John Ransom

Yesterday we learned, to our great joy, that we no longer have to worry about the twin evils of global warming and hurricanes combining to stop Obama’s stimulus plan.

For those of you who missed yesterday’s column, we showed that the not-greedy scientists, who very unlike the Republican bankers who took down the whole housing sector just because they are greedy… well, the scientists anyway demonstrated that hurricanes and global warming are not in any way scientifically or romantically linked.

In a work published in late November on the site for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the chief scientist studying hurricanes in the US concludes that “the overall impact of global warming on hurricanes is currently negligible and likely to remain quite tiny even a century from now.”

Hurray! Finally, some good news.

Previously it was part of the liberal religion that you must say out loud at least several times a week that intense hurricanes have been ravaging the world on account of global warming caused in part by greedy Republican bankers who took down the housing sector because they are greedy, except Warren Buffett and George Soros who aren’t greedy or Republican.

George and Warren just got really lucky, accidentally.

Like Obama’s friends George Kaiser and Jon Corzine did.

So, anywho… as I was saying, there was great celebration in liberal-land because it turns out that we aren’t having more and worse hurricanes than in the past on account of global warming.

Presumably as a liberal you now no longer have to mindlessly repeat that hurricanes and global warming are linked, which is good news for liberals because: 1) it means we are safer from hurricanes than was presumed in the past; and 2) it wasn’t, you know… true.

But if anything is certain in life it is this: that once you allocate to scientists federal grant money, they’ll selflessly exert themselves to find out what in the world is wrong with mankind even if they have to spend more and more money every year doing it selflessly!

Those are just the kind of guys scientists are.

12-17-2011 08:30 AM  6 years agoPost 2

rrElite Veteran

Isle of Wight,United Kingdom

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The fact is that like, humans, Polar bears to not like to carry their lunch whilst swimmimg between melted ice packs,they prefer the family to bring it.

Team- unbiased opinion.K.I.S.S principle upheld here

12-17-2011 01:08 PM  6 years agoPost 3

rrKey Veteran

United Kingdom

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let's do our bit for the environment and dart Dennis, Grey, Thomas, Gearhead etc. . . and throw them to these starving polar bears.

nobody's going to miss these circus animals anyway.

12-17-2011 03:26 PM  6 years agoPost 4


Birmingham, AL

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I say lets dart you!!!!!!!!!!

12-17-2011 04:45 PM  6 years agoPost 5

rrKey Veteran

United Kingdom

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polar bears don' eat sharks.

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