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06-05-2011 11:59 AM  8 years ago
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LONEWOLF2440

rrElite Veteran

MYRTLE BEACH S.C

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DIVORCE
Looks like im headed that way need some storys of what yall went through and finaces
MIKADO LOGO 600 TREX 550
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06-05-2011 12:38 PM  8 years ago
wrongler

rrProfessor

Brewerton, New York

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Hide the helis! Sorry,I cant help you, Happily married for 40 years.Bill Whittaker
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06-05-2011 12:48 PM  8 years ago
LONEWOLF2440

rrElite Veteran

MYRTLE BEACH S.C

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She can have the house but im keping the LogoMIKADO LOGO 600 TREX 550
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06-05-2011 01:39 PM  8 years ago
Steff Giguere

rrProfessor

St-Eustache, Quebec, Canada

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Sorry to hear, remember lots of people go through this also, help is not really far. Also go fly, it will help take you mind off of it.Team Synergy, Rail blades, Team Scorpion, V-Team
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06-05-2011 04:49 PM  8 years ago
JasonJ

rrKey Veteran

North Idaho

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Mine ended in bankruptcy and I walked away with a truck running on three cylinders and a 13 inch color tv. I was deployed at the time and she sold everything I owned, spent all the money, never paid the bills and trashed my truck. It was a mess. Good luck. If you can pull off an amicable divorce where you both come to an agreement and stick to it you'll be fine. Unfortunately it often devolves to anger, resentment and revenge.

I hope there are no kids involved. If there are, the child support you pay never goes to the child, it goes to a car payment or any other array of crap she wastes it on all the while bitching about how she doesn't have money. It pisses you off when you go to pick up your child for the weekend and there is yet another guy sitting his useless ass on the couch you used to own, giving you that "I'm peeing in your backyard" look. You want to just speedpunch him in the throat but you can't because you have to be the better person. It takes years to get through the heartburn and chaos until it stabilizes. If there are no kids, it will be awesome. Just take your lumps and move on.
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06-05-2011 04:54 PM  8 years ago
Dennis (RIP)

rrApprentice

Oregon

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I hope there are no kids involved. If there are, the child support you pay never goes to the child, it goes to a car payment or any other array of crap she wastes it on all the while bitching about how she doesn't have money. It pisses you off when you go to pick up your child for the weekend and there is yet another guy sitting his useless ass on the couch you used to own, giving you that "I'm peeing in your backyard" look. You want to just speedpunch him in the throat but you can't because you have to be the better person. It takes years to get through the heartburn and chaos until it stabilizes. If there are no kids, it will be awesome. Just take your lumps and move on.
Don't get yourself caught in a trap of anger and hate like the above. It will not do you any good and it will make matters far worse for yourself and everyone around you.

Ignore the bull****, take it like a man and move on.
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06-05-2011 05:04 PM  8 years ago
Rotor Trash

rrApprentice

Higginsville, MO

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I've been happily divorced for 11 years now ( I was married for 15 ). At first I thought it was the worst thing ever but it turned out to be the best thing I could have done. I'm sorry if there are kids involved but if there is, do everything you can to get custody. She'll have men in and out of her life and you don't want the kids being around that crap.

I ended up with the kids, the house, my truck, my boat and all my other toys.

Forget about what attorneys cost and get the very BEST !! Don't worry about her feelings because I guarantee you that she won't care about yours.

PS Be smart enough not to get married again
Load'r High and Let'r Fly !!!
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06-05-2011 05:21 PM  8 years ago
fla heli boy

rrElite Veteran

cape coral, florida

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wow, did you hit the nail on the head!!!
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06-05-2011 05:35 PM  8 years ago
eagleinthesmoke

rrApprentice

Burleson,Tx

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Sorry you are going through this. My wife and I have been separated for over a year now and I am pretty sure we will be going to Big D too. I have our 2yr old and my step son here with me. She claimed I was self centered when actually everything I did revolved around our family. Women have a strange way of seeing things. I got involved in this hobby as a replacement for a relationship. Helis you can fix women you can not.
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06-05-2011 06:03 PM  8 years ago
GyroFreak

rrProfessor

Orlando Florida ...28N 81W

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She'll have men in and out of her life and you don't want the kids being around that crap.
That also works the other way.
My daughter just got divorced from a mentally unstable husband who had been very good to her for 10 years, then went woman shopping, drinking and ended up in therapy and drugs. He intensionally made a mess out of the divorce to make it as expensive as possible. $8000.00 later (my daughters expenses) she got the kids and the house plus a moderate payment in place of alimony.
So sometimes it is the mans fault.
Hope yours doesn't go that route of bitter fighting.
.

Sorry to hear a fellow RR member is heading to the big D !

LONEWOLF2440
I addition to the story of my daughters messy divorce.
My son who has two kids recently divorced but it was an amicable agreement and no fighting (plenty of fighting before the divorce). In fact they are still very good friends and she has remarried. She has a very large dental practice and he owns a large painting business. So they could have ended up costing 100 thousand in a big fight.
.
So LONEWOLF2440, a divorce can be a few hundred dollars if every one agrees, or thousands if the two parties can't agree, only the lawyers make out.
I think about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, then wonder what I'm here after ?
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06-05-2011 06:32 PM  8 years ago
LONEWOLF2440

rrElite Veteran

MYRTLE BEACH S.C

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@ kids a 10 year old son who only wants to hang out with me a 14 year old daughter. I work as a full time mechanic and run a tow truck 24/7 last days i have of is 1 week in nov. She has run her credit card up to well over 50,000 dollars and got into a reliv bussiness its like a miracle energy drink and has spent thousands on trips and buying the product. and i see no money going to her credit cards after she buys it. the cards are soley in her name not mine she makes me pay for mine. All 5 of her brothers ans sister are divorced. including her parents. It sucks as she dont care about the kids feelings but i can honestly say i tried.MIKADO LOGO 600 TREX 550
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06-06-2011 02:46 AM  8 years ago
daggit

rrElite Veteran

Claremont, MN

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Don't get yourself caught in a trap of anger and hate It will not do you any good and it will make matters far worse for yourself and everyone around you.
No truer words... dont be a victim, the future has limitless possibilities, keep a smile on and the world will smile back. Focus on the positives they are everywhere.

I divorced... it wasn't the end. It was a new beginning
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06-06-2011 02:36 PM  8 years ago
scott s.

rrElite Veteran

Orange, Ca.

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Have you heard this one
Why is divorce is expensive? Because it`s worth it.
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06-06-2011 04:54 PM  8 years ago
MikeM

rrApprentice

Austin, Texas - USA

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I had a completely amicable divorce. No arguments, no fights over material or money. Just parted ways. It does happen.
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06-06-2011 07:59 PM  8 years ago
Hughes500Pilot

rrKey Veteran

Anaheim, CA

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Ok, I just have to throw in my two cents. First off, I'm not an "expert" by any means. But, I have been involved in thousands of divorces. As a police officer, I deal with them two or three times per day. 99% of the time, it's not about right or wrong good or bad or even whats best for the kids. It's actually pure simple spite. He did me wrong (or she did me wrong) so I'm gonna get him back. Here is the worst part, people will make personal sacrifices just so the other person gets hurt too. I cant tell you how many times I hear people say something like, "I dont care how much money I loose - as long as he does not get it!"

This is where attorneys come in. And yes, I have some very first hand knowledge about that (well, second hand). My wife is a court clerk in family law courtroom (divorce, custody, child support, etc). Attorneys are there for one reason only - to get your money. Think about it, if they help you and your wife sit down, talk rationally and help you split up the family assets it will take them one afternoon. And they make no money off it. But, if they can convince you to fight like hell, to not give the &#$% a single dime, then who really wins. The attorney...

So based on my 20 years experience of literally watching people fight each other and 12 years of hearing stories from my wife's courtroom, here is my suggestion.

First off, use strategy - not malice. Get her on your "good side." However, dont expect to call her on the phone and hash things out. This will lead to a fight and you are back at square one. Rather, write her a letter or an email. But, keep in mind, you are not really writting it to her, you are writing it to the judge."

Since it is a letter or email, you can always bring it to court later if things go bad. The judge will read what you say and what your intentions are. Further, the judge will see you tried to go about things in an adult, non-threatening and fair manner. Even though a judge should not take those things into account - they do. They all do - it's human nature. Plus you should hear what the judges say about the people they are presiding over during their lunch break (well, not my wifes judge - she would never do that since it is improper and goes against their code of ethics.)

In your letter you should be positive, well spoken and factual. Here is a sample letter...

Sally, we have had may good times of the last 15 years and I will always be thankful for the great kids we brought into this world. Of course things do not always work out between people, but I's time to realize we each have to move on in our lives. I propose we sit down with XYZ Divorce Mediator and find a balanced division of the family assets. I'm hoping we can do this in an adult manner so we do not spend thousands of dollars fighting a prolonged battle in court. I would much rather the money we would spend on lawyers go to our children's college education.

And so on and so on... you get the idea. Remember, you are writing this for the judge later on. That is what counts. On the other hand, if she actually does sit down with a mediator and you both do split thing up, then great. But if not, you are giving yourself the best ammo there is if you wind up in court. You will be able to stand in front of the judge and say you tried to work things out in an adult fashion in order to do the best for your kids. This is what a judge want to hear.

It gets even better though. If she types back and cusses you out and says go to hell - I'll see you in court because I'm gonna get every dime you have. This is perfect. It is a written document you can show to the judge that shows she is just trying to "waste" the money to prevent you from having it. Plus, you might get a bonus like a threat. Or she might say something like, "And I'm going to make you pay for MY $50,000 credit card bill. Again, now you have a written document where she is claiming the $50,000 is HER DEBT!

Just remember, be polite, professional and dont say anything bad. You want to look like the "good guy" to the judge. Everything you say MUST BE IN WRITTING. NEVER, EVER TALK IN PERSON OR ON THE PHONE. Even if your "nice" on the phone, she can say you threatened her. No way to prove it of course. By why let her even bring it up in court. Have the phone bill that shows everything went to voice mail. Or let her leave a phone messages and reply to her vie email (easier then a text in court).

Good luck. -Steve
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06-06-2011 08:31 PM  8 years ago
LONEWOLF2440

rrElite Veteran

MYRTLE BEACH S.C

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Good advice thank u very muchMIKADO LOGO 600 TREX 550
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06-07-2011 02:17 AM  8 years ago
esmoglo

rrKey Veteran

Florida USA

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The reason divorce is so expensive?……Because it’s worth it! Ugly can be fixed stupid is forever!
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06-07-2011 03:42 AM  8 years ago
scott s.

rrElite Veteran

Orange, Ca.

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Gee, wish i said that.
Quote
----------------------------------------------------------------------The reason divorce is so expensive?……Because it’s worth it!

Ugly can be fixed stupid
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh wait, i did.
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06-07-2011 04:05 AM  8 years ago
krashtagain

rrKey Veteran

ohio

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Just went through this crap myself . Not actual divorce but ugly ending to a 15 yr realationship . She wrecked the house spent all of money and left me with the mess . But when I got back to town and the b1tch was gone I finally figured out I did get the better end of the deal . Good luck brother I feel the pain .If you're not living on the edge you're just taking up space !
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06-07-2011 10:02 AM  8 years ago
LONEWOLF2440

rrElite Veteran

MYRTLE BEACH S.C

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15 years here to. i Know i should of listen to my mother MIKADO LOGO 600 TREX 550
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