Rack Of Doom: Woman’s 40LL-size Breast Nearly Kill Boyfriend
4 April 2010,
Claire Smedley, a 27 year-old British woman, almost killed her boyfriend. She didn’t nearly end his life because he was cheating on her or anything to that effect, but instead was close to suffocating him with her ginormous breasts (40LL to be exact) while in bed.
The couple were fooling around with her breasts in his face when all of a sudden Smedley realized Michael–the boyfriend wasn’t breathing. Naturally, she panicked. Luckily for her, he came to after a second.
When asked about his near-demise, Michael had this to say:
I did think my time had come. I tried to slap her on her arm to get her to stop and get off me but I think she misread the signals. The next thing I knew she was sitting over me asking if I was all right. I must have blacked out. It was pretty hair-raising.
The two broke up after the near-death experience because Michael was turned off by sex from then on. We’re not sure what’s wrong with him. If it were us, we’d be perfectly content to meet our maker in that manner. To paraphrase The Smiths, ” To die by your rack is such a heavenly way to die.”
The term “Rack of Doom”– in case you’re wondering– comes from the feminist blog Shapely Prose.