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Home🌌Off Topics🌌Off Topics News & Politics › Men Who Stare at Goats, an hour and a half of my life I will never get back
04-03-2010 06:11 AM  10 years ago
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Aaron29

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Men Who Stare at Goats, an hour and a half of my life I will never get back
Oh

My

This

Movie

Sucked.

Sucked worse than Dude Where's My Car. Made Ishtar look good. Sucked so bad even black holes can't escape.

Warning - do not rent. Failure to heed these instructions may cause paralysis in front of the TV while waiting for plot, action, humor, or entertainment. This paralysis must be dealt with quickly or can lead to disturbing thoughts and urges to harm yourself or others.

I had to use the DVR cleaner to ensure that my DVR doesn't have any stink left over from it. I may still incinerate the device to be certain.

I want to destroy the DVD and pay the lost rental fee just to protect the next renter from making a mistake.

I sat waiting for it to get good. Any minute now...then the ending credits rolled. Oh my. I am having uncontrollable evil thoughts about attempting to kick whoever is responsible in his nuts.

Help me to be humane and have good will toward men in this dark hour (even though he deserves it).

Do not watch movie while operating heavy machinery, or operate heavy machinery after watching. Do not watch movie with anyone whom you care about, lest they leave you for thinking you like this sort of movie. Do not watch movie with any sharp objects nearby, or you may find yourself attempting to forcefully remove one of your eyes.

Should this occur, do not attempt home lobotomy. Shield your eyes from the television and think of happy thoughts. Locate remote and press "mute" and then "stop." Eject CD immediately.

Warning - watching more than 50% of this movie may cause uncontrollable bowel movements and death. It can even cause even death by uncontrollable bowel movement.

Either fate would be a graceful exit, preferable to making it all the way to the rolling credits. Consider any death by bowel movement to be merciful. It is the body's natural defense mechanism against this sort of crappy movie.

Other than that, it was OK.

Nah it wasn't. It was one of the three worst movies I have ever seen.
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04-03-2010 07:39 AM  10 years ago
spaceman spiff

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Tucson

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Other than that, it was OK.

Saw it a couple days ago. Not going buy a copy, but, it was fun IMHO.

enjoyed your review as well...
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04-03-2010 02:23 PM  10 years ago
Mutt

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M ca usa

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The trailers on tv were enough to tell me do not waist my time with it lol.
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04-03-2010 02:28 PM  10 years ago
baby uh1

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St. James, Mo.

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I agree totally! This movie sucked like Micheal Moore's home movie collection!
I thought Obama was outlawing torture like this?
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about!
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04-03-2010 03:46 PM  10 years ago
fla heli boy

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cape coral, florida

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It couldn't possibly be as bad as Babel w/ Brad Pitt could it???
That one is #1 on my list.
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04-03-2010 04:01 PM  10 years ago
Aaron29

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LOL.

I had more fun writing the review than watching the movie. So it was worth something.
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04-03-2010 04:37 PM  10 years ago
nivlek

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Norfolk England

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Anyone ever seen 'Killdozer!' ? It definately makes the bottom three flims that I've ever seen .At the end of the day , it gets dark .
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04-03-2010 04:39 PM  10 years ago
Aaron29

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USA

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No but thank you for the warning!
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04-05-2010 06:38 PM  10 years ago
yank-n-bank

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heliville, UT

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Killdozer rocked....
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04-05-2010 07:30 PM  10 years ago
ScottV

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El Dorado Hills, CA

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Watched Goats myself on Saturday, it was horrible. I thought it was going to be good, but I was wrong. I should have listened to my boss.So long and thanks for all the fish!
`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.. ><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
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04-05-2010 07:34 PM  10 years ago
RappyTappy

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Encinitas, CA

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My girl has been pushing me to see this. After watching the preview, it seemed like it would be more fun to watch grass grow.

I pretty much steer away from any gorge kloooney movies cause he sucks, I have no idea what the deal is with that blob of bore.
Still buyin' and flyin' then crashing and cryin'
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04-07-2010 02:54 AM  10 years ago
Aaron29

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USA

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Not even George Clooney can save this one.

(I think he's alright, I loved Oh Brother Where Art Thou. I'm no fan, but it wasn't Clooney that made or broke this one.)

I really think the producers chose big names like Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, George Clooney, Ewan McGregor to try to get us to go to this.

It worked for many and still the movie got bad reviews and overall sucked. What was amazing is how even with the incredible cast how the delivery just plain sucked. I'll save you from watching it but the delivery, credibility, and acting sucked. In trying to be funny it made it even worse.

And the content. Oh man am I supposed to think that Clooney calling their group "The Jedi" is supposed to be funny?

I watched it thinking any minute now something profound will happen, or something hilarious. Just like watching Dude Where's My Car.

At the end you're like...

Really?

REALLY?

WTF!!!

I still am taking pepto bismol over it. At least Dude Where's My Car had the "and then" scene for laughs, and the "Dude, Sweet" scene.

This had nothing. No moment that made the whole thing worth watching. Just 90 minutes that is gone for good.
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04-08-2010 04:37 PM  10 years ago
eSmith

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Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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The women like Clooney because he wins the "Sexiest man" competitions. I wonder if they know he runs a campaign to win it and it costs him a good pile of cash to run against other idiots who look no better than the average person but need thier egos inflated to cover up the FACT they have NO TALENT.

Always remember, they were never picked out of obsecurity to win these make believe contests, the winner is the one who brown noses the judging committee the most.

-eSmith.
http://www.edmheli.ca
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04-08-2010 05:50 PM  10 years ago
nivlek

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Norfolk England

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Killdozer rocked....
That pun is nearly as bad as the film was !
At the end of the day , it gets dark .
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04-08-2010 09:38 PM  10 years ago
Justin Stuart (RIP)

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Plano, Texas

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Is it worse than Inglorious Bastards?Avant RC
Scorpion Power Systems
Thunder Power RC
Kontronik Drives
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04-08-2010 10:18 PM  10 years ago
eSmith

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Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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yes, it was/is......

but not quite gigli......

-eSmith.
http://www.edmheli.ca
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04-09-2010 01:53 AM  10 years ago
fla heli boy

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cape coral, florida

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IB wasn't THAT bad!!!! I stumbled over "Law Abiding Citizen" last night on PPV. What a GREAT movie. Bought it by accident and I'm glad I did. Check it out!!!!
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04-09-2010 06:23 AM  10 years ago
yank-n-bank

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heliville, UT

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Being somewhat of a fan of low budget "B" horror movies I have to stand behind killdozer. Cheezy and predictable?...yes, but funny, and also 40 years old. I think its time for a re-make
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