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HomeOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Darwin award
02-05-2008 01:55 AM  10 years agoPost 1
thedrill

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Reno, NV, U.S.A.

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1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

Vote the bastards out!!All of em T-rex 450Pro, T-rex 500 Radical G20

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02-05-2008 03:00 AM  10 years agoPost 2
2LTime

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Walworth,NY

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If you believe that, you are also a candidate for the prize.

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

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02-05-2008 03:53 AM  10 years agoPost 3
classic

rrElite Veteran

All over the place!

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BWAHAHAHAAAA
I dont care if its true or not,
That was funny!

Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care!

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02-05-2008 06:45 AM  10 years agoPost 4
GimbalFan (RIP)

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Big Coppitt Key, FL

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Snopes is your friend, especially at times like this, and thank goodness!

op-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-t

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02-05-2008 04:42 PM  10 years agoPost 5
thedrill

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Reno, NV, U.S.A.

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hey 2Ltime I myself do not belive this it is an urban legened but it is funny The piont of the post was entertainment

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02-05-2008 04:53 PM  10 years agoPost 6
playfair

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Rochester, NY

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Why YELL at 2Ltime for exposing this as an urban legend?
You didn't write the post as, "this is a pile of poo, but still funny."


The sky is our canvas

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02-05-2008 05:29 PM  10 years agoPost 7
trashmanf

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Kent, WA

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dudes you guys trust me it's true

don't ask me how I know

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02-05-2008 06:18 PM  10 years agoPost 8
thedrill

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Reno, NV, U.S.A.

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I'm afraid to ask LOL

Vote the bastards out!!All of em T-rex 450Pro, T-rex 500 Radical G20

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02-06-2008 04:41 AM  10 years agoPost 9
2LTime

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Walworth,NY

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Why not change your name to "Mother Goose" than.

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

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