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07-20-2006 03:19 AM  14 years ago
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freakyreef

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Kansas\Colorado border

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True stories from work
Lets here some true stories from work.

Here is mine.
It happened to a co-worker. For the sake of his ego and save humiliation I'll change his name.

Bob was out changing a large natural gas meter in a rural area. While carrying the meter to his truck, he slipped and fell. When he fell, weeds happened to make their way down his pants and shorts. He looks around to see if anyone is around. Nope, coast is clear.
(now picture this in your head) He drops his pants and drawers and begins to clean out the weeds. While he is bent over at the waist, a rather large dog comes from behind the truck and proceeds to shove his nose straight up, well, you get the picture.

Now this could have been left between him and the dog, but like an idiot Bob comes back to town and tells everyone about it!!
Had this been me, I would have been the only one to know about it!!!
Walk on water long enough, eventually you will get your feet wet.
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07-20-2006 03:53 AM  14 years ago
Salty

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St. Augustine

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While a lowly 2P flying a 0100 alert flight in the persian gulf my HAC's cruddy ships dinner hit bottom, I do believe it was chinese night, well he hops on the radio and calls the ship, "ship we need a green deck I gotta pick up fuel!" (we just took off and fueled 15 min prior) they state, "Helo, Deck is clobered, green denied" Hac &itches and calls another USS ship, "ship, Request flight quarters to double check a fairing that may be loose" Well so happened their ship was on fire at the time (non gulf related electrical fire) and we had no where to land, My HAC states over intercom, (insert important desperate sweating bullets voice here) "Crew, I need to take a dump.....BAD, any of you gotta bag?" In between of our laughter we realized none of us had a plastic bag. So I told him to use his helmet bag....he was desperate enough and stripped his flight gear off, dropped trow, and proceded to take the biggest dump I have ever witnessed in my life, in a helicopter at 1500' while on night vision, in his helmet bag (he tried to get the crewman to give his up...) he then uses his T-shirt to clean himself up (serious STANK at this point...ever try to keep a horizon while your laughing so hard your crying, taking pictures and trying to avoid the smell at the same time?) HAC then tries to talk the crewman to ditch his crappy helmet bag out the door....denied, so we pulled into a hover, and jettisoned the full bag....hope there wasnt a ship under us at the time....His last words...no one needs to know about this....yeah right, 5 min after we landed the entire Air DET had pics as well as the boys at homeguard...Ask your Doctor if getting off your ass is right for you.
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07-20-2006 04:00 AM  14 years ago
spritefiend

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Camarillo, CA

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^ hahahahahahah, F.. E.. C.. K... thats hilarious... and nasty, all mixed into one..

John
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