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02-10-2006 01:33 AM  12 years agoPost 1
GimbalFan (RIP)

rrProfessor

Big Coppitt Key, FL

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An American, an Englishman and a Frenchman were walking down the beach when they spotted a magic lamp in the sand. They rubbed it and out came a genie who granted them each a wish. The American wished for a huge cattle ranch in Wyoming, fully stocked, manned and profitable.

The genie granted his wish.

The Frenchman wished for a wall to be built all around France to keep out all but the French who didn’t need anyone else and should have to put up with all the other people of the world because the French were far superior. He wanted it high enough and thick enough that no one could climb over it over break through it.

The genie granted his wish.

The Englishman wanted to ask a question before he made his wish. The genie said ok. “Describe the wall around France; how tall and how thick?”

The genie said it was about 800 feet high and more than 200 feet thick at the base and completely encircled France with no seams, gaps or gates. The Englishman said, “My wish is for you to fill it in to the top with water.”

The genie gladly granted his wish.

op-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-t

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02-10-2006 04:41 PM  12 years agoPost 2
Paul the Froggy

rrNovice

France

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That reminds me of another joke about an Englisman, American an Frenchman.
Walking around the English contryside together, the Englishman says, it takes me 4 hours to drive my Range rover around my farm, then the american says 4 hours !, it takes me 4 days to drive around my farm, then the Frenchman replys, yes we had the same problem with your crappy American cars allways breaking down, we use them for pig pens and drive around our farm in a European car, and now it only takes 6 hours.

35 of modelling planes helis etc i live in the south of France

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02-10-2006 06:01 PM  12 years agoPost 3
GimbalFan (RIP)

rrProfessor

Big Coppitt Key, FL

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I wondered how long it would take for a comeback. Good one, Frog!

Aside from the Renault, what other French-made cars might we've heard of?

op-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-t

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02-10-2006 08:11 PM  12 years agoPost 4
Spartan Missile

rrApprentice

Coventry, UK

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AIRBUS

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02-10-2006 11:57 PM  12 years agoPost 5
LanceMD500E

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Savannah, Georgia USA

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They also sold the Peougeot cars in USA, pronounced "pig-out" by mechanics. The Renault Turbo Fuegos were fun- I had 2- but USA dealers were shoddy and didn`t have a clue about serviving them. Like Fiat- good cars that went out of USA sales due to really bad dealers.
Isn`t the A-Star helicopter made in France?

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02-11-2006 10:55 PM  12 years agoPost 6
FireandH2O

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Pensacola, Fl 32507

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Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?


A: No one knows its never been done before!!!!

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02-12-2006 12:33 AM  12 years agoPost 7
Cabbageman

rrNovice

LOL!

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Europian cars are in general are now the least reliable cars now. Look at mercedes reliability, it aint very good, but they have good service. Japanese are most reliable.

I dunno why french dont like US. US saved France in WW2. Give us a break. Then France criticizes everything about US and then you find out that they have discriminating problems in their country too. Its amazing how many issues going on with their country. It Just happens to be that US is being watched constanly and everyone is ready to jump and yell at us for every Sh_t thing we do.

Yeah our country is not perfect and we have problems but HUMAN BEINGS ARE HUMAN BEINGS, and if France was in the same situation as US and was the worlds super power, they would do the same crap US does.

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02-13-2006 04:28 AM  12 years agoPost 8
Billingsnutz

rrApprentice

Summerville South Carolina/Mobile Alabama

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WaWaaWaaaa

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02-13-2006 07:20 PM  12 years agoPost 9
Cabbageman

rrNovice

LOL!

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LOL

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02-14-2006 09:31 AM  12 years agoPost 10
erekose

rrNovice

France

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Hi,

@Cabbageman :
I dunno why french dont like US. US saved France in WW2. Give us a break. Then France criticizes everything about US and then you find out that they have discriminating problems in their country too. Its amazing how many issues going on with their country.
Don't worry, a lot of French criticize everything about France too ...

Now, when you state that French don't like US, how do you know that ? if you've seen that on TV, I can tell you that when I watch the news in France, I have the impression that US citizens don't like French too. But I'm very cautious about what I see on TV, as I've always spent a good time with every American I've ever met.

I hope this won't prevent this thread to go on with jokes as long as they remain jokes Paul was not criticising american cars, he was telling a joke.

Julien

By the way, I almost forgot my joke :

An American and his french friend (yes, it's possible ;-) ) are having a walk in Paris. In front of the Eiffel Tower, the American asks :
- How long did it take to build it ?
- about 3 years
- Well, in the US, I think we could do it in 1 year !
Then, in front of the Notre Dame Cathedral :
- and this, how long did it take to build ?
- about 170 years
- Oh my ! we would have done that in no more than 30 years in the US!
Then, as they're wandering around the Montparnasse Tower :
- and what about this Tower ? How long to build it ?
- Which tower ? Jesus ! It wasn't there yesterday !!

A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform

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02-14-2006 02:30 PM  12 years agoPost 11
Paul the Froggy

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France

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What a mistake not sending the French to Irak, at least they would know how to teach them to surrender.

35 of modelling planes helis etc i live in the south of France

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02-14-2006 03:39 PM  12 years ago •• Post 12 ••
FireandH2O

rrNovice

Pensacola, Fl 32507

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French Threat levels:

condition Green----- run and hide

Condition Yellow----- surrender

Condition Red------ collaborate

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02-14-2006 03:49 PM  12 years agoPost 13
Wa11banger

rrElite Veteran

Huntsville, Al

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Got these from a site, some are oldies and some are new material.

Q: Why are there so many trees along the Champs Elysee?
A: Because the Germans like to march in the shade.

Q: How many frenchmen does it take to successfully defend Paris?
A: We won't know until it has been done.

There was a Colonel and a General talking...
Colonel: "My God Sir, have you heard? The French will not join our military operations in Iraq!"
General: "That's Horrible... That would be like going dear hunting without taking an accordion!"

Q: Why do all French tanks have rear view mirrors.
A: That way they can still watch the battle.

Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a Catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking, ungrateful bottom feeder and the other is a fish

"A Frenchman walks into a bar carrying a duck under his arm. The bartender says, "HEY! You can't bring that pig in here." The Frenchman says, "Excuse me...but that's a duck." The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck."

Q: How many wars have the French won?
A: One - The French Revolution

Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy?
A: So they can see all their other ships.

President Bush and the french ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Iraqi crisis. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. He further explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the madman could result in a bloodbath. The french ambassador, although, did not understand. It seems there is no word for" bath" in french.

Q: What does "Maginot" mean in German?
A: Welcome!

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead frenchman In the middle of a Texas highway?
A: There's skid marks In front of the skunk.

Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.

The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his quiet English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants.

Proud member of the Quick UK, Duralite Flight Systems, V-Blade, & KBDD team

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02-14-2006 04:07 PM  12 years agoPost 14
erekose

rrNovice

France

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Albert Einstein goes to Heaven :
- who are you ?
- I'm Albert Einstein, scientist.
- a lot of people pretended to be Albert Einstein. Can you prove it ?
Einstein explains the whole theory of relativity, and is granted access to Heaven.

then, Picasso arrives :
- who are you ?
- I'm Picasso, artist.
- a lot of people pretended to be Picasso. Can you prove your identity just like Einstein did ?
Picasso paints another version of the Slaughter of Gernika, and is then granted access to Heaven.

then arrives George W Bush :
- who are you ?
- I'm George W. Bush, president of the USA
- a lot of people pretended to be George Bush. As Einstein and Picasso did, can you prove your identity ?
- Who are Einstein and Picasso ?
- OK Mr Bush, you can go in !

A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform

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02-14-2006 08:06 PM  12 years agoPost 15
GimbalFan (RIP)

rrProfessor

Big Coppitt Key, FL

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"Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

That's our numbskull alright.

Woe Unto US Under Bush

op-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-t

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02-14-2006 09:33 PM  12 years agoPost 16
webbhost

rrKey Veteran

england - Leicester

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Have you heard the legend about the french tanks with more than 1 gear? The proof of this is still to be shown, as the only one that has been seen used is the reverse gear so far..

meh

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02-14-2006 11:19 PM  12 years agoPost 17
AndyH

rrKey Veteran

Rockledge, FL

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AIRBUS
BWAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA

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02-15-2006 07:45 AM  12 years agoPost 18
erekose

rrNovice

France

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Do you know the difference between an american beer and making love on a canoe ?

None, it's both f"'@cking close to water.

A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform

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02-15-2006 07:53 AM  12 years agoPost 19
GimbalFan (RIP)

rrProfessor

Big Coppitt Key, FL

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Clearly you've never slurped a Mickey's Big Mouth malt licker. It's got that certain je'ne sai'quoi, n'est pas?

op-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop-t

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02-15-2006 08:05 AM  12 years agoPost 20
erekose

rrNovice

France

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No I've never tasted it ...
I've only tasted Bud and Forster (australia) as trans-oceanic beers (I can't say non-european beers, as i'm also quite fond of lagers, bitters and ales ).

What I prefer are Belgian beers, they have so much diversity that's fantastic.

A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform

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