RunRyder RC
WATCH
 38 pages [ <<    <     18      19     ( 20 )     21      22     NEXT    >> ] 50069 views Topic Closed
07-18-2006 08:09 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
People will talk Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-18-2006 08:11 AM  14 years ago
Billingsnutz

rrApprentice

Summerville South Carolina/Mobile Alabama

MyPosts All Forum Topic
You think these guys will talk? I bet half of em would move in too.Annoying the world one person at a time
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-18-2006 08:15 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
well there ain't much room so you better mind me flybarsVegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-18-2006 08:54 AM  14 years ago
Billingsnutz

rrApprentice

Summerville South Carolina/Mobile Alabama

MyPosts All Forum Topic
Sweet! I'm on the way.Annoying the world one person at a time
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-19-2006 08:45 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces.
He climbed down from his truck to survey the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of state department of transportation workers.
The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together.
In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.
"Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief.
"What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"
The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-19-2006 08:45 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?"
"I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you."
After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then... just tell my wife!"
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-19-2006 08:46 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya all from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Sam replied: "...the balcony."
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-19-2006 09:49 AM  14 years ago
Gadgets

rrApprentice

South Africa

MyPosts All Forum Topic
Actual entries in an Mpumalanga Hospital Register
Should one be a bit concerned or just carry on laughing???.......................

Actual writings in an Mpumalanga Hospital (South Africa) Register

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides..

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night..

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities




I see plank flyers!!!
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  Attn:RR
07-19-2006 10:53 AM  14 years ago
Luckylandings

rrVeteran

Oregon USA

MyPosts All Forum Topic
Cajun Pregnancy
Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

So he brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said,
"Hey, Boudreaux! You just had you-self a son! Ain't dat grand!"

Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You got you-self a daughter! She a pretty lil ting, too."

Boudreaux got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said,"Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!"

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Boudreaux, you just had you-self another boy!"

When Boudreaux and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,
"Mama, you remember dat night what we run out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere tree-in-one Oil?"

His wife said, "Yeah, I do!"

Boudreaux said,
"Man, it's a darn good ting we didn't use no WD-fourty."

_________
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-19-2006 11:19 AM  14 years ago
Luckylandings

rrVeteran

Oregon USA

MyPosts All Forum Topic
WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF:

YOU HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES
YOU HAVE NO WORRIES
YOU COME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU...
YOUR BATHWATER HAS BEEN RUN...
YOU HAVE THE PERFECT KIDS...
YOUR PARTNER IS AWAITING YOU WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES...

SO WHERE WOULD YOU BE...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>

In the wrong frickin house!!!


________
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-21-2006 12:39 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
Two patients limp into two different American Medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.
The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.
The second sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The first is a Golden Retriever.....
The second is a Senior Citizen.
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-21-2006 12:40 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
On the fifteenth hole, Dave hits his golf ball into the woods and finds it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a beautiful woman appears. She says "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? For doing what you did, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. And, you won't have any butter for your toast. In fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" Then POOF! She disappears.
After Dave recovers from the shock, he yells to his friend. Fred. "Hey, Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm in the rough, over here in a patch of pussy willows."
Dave shouts back "Don't swing, Fred! For the love of God, DON'T SWING!!!"
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-24-2006 09:59 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
A guy is on a business trip and he's staying in this fancy hotel. He goes up to his room, and there's a sign near the bed that says, "Try our Oriental Massage."
So he rings down to the reception desk and tells the clerk that he'd like to try one of these massages. About ten minutes later this Japanese lady comes up and starts giving him a massage. He's lying on his stomach and getting pretty horny. She tells him to turn over and he does, revealing a huge boner.
"Ahh, you want wanky!" she giggles.
"Oooh, yes!" he leers.
She runs off into the bathroom and he lies on the bed waiting. A few minutes later she sticks her head out from behind the door and says, "You finish yet?"
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-24-2006 01:29 PM  14 years ago
cudaboy_71

rrElite Veteran

sacramento, ca, u.s.

MyPosts All Forum Topic
HA ^^^^^ good one.if it ain't broke, break it.
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-26-2006 01:16 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
A traveling salesman is in a small town in the Midwest, when his trip is suddenly prolonged for an extra month. He was already getting bored there and over the course of the extra month he becomes very homesick.
Finally, he decides to give in to temptation and visit the local brothel.
He walks up to the madam and hands her a hundred dollars and says, "Give me the worst blowjob in town."
The madam says, "For this kind of money, you can have the best blowjob."
"No, no," says the man, "you don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick."
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-26-2006 01:19 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-26-2006 09:44 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.
As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-26-2006 09:45 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" said the teacher. "Now, who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?'"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, the teacher said, "If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh!t, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, "Duck!"
The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked "Who said that?
Pedro: "Dick Cheney 2006!"
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-26-2006 09:46 AM  14 years ago
Yug

rrMaster

UK. Herts

MyPosts All Forum Topic
A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them.
The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.
"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."
The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor.
The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help."
The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please help us."
"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios..."
Vegetable rights and Peace
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
07-26-2006 01:46 PM  14 years ago
Tommy Z

rrKey Veteran

Lubbock, Texas

MyPosts All Forum Topic
oooh, geez
way to go guy.

Tommy.
SHARE  PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR
WATCH
 38 pages [ <<    <     18      19     ( 20 )     21      22     NEXT    >> ] 50069 views Topic Closed
Print TOPIC

 27  Topic Subscribe

Wednesday, June 23 - 1:30 pm - Copyright © 2000-2021 RunRyder   EMAILEnable Cookies

Login Here
 New Subscriptions 
 Buddies Online