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HomeOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › The Guys' Rules
10-14-2005 01:01 PM  13 years agoPost 1
Dino Spadaccini

rrElite Veteran


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At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1"

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know be st how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a q question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh

RIP Roman JR
Capt USA Align Factory Team Align - Conquer Your heart
Team Futaba

10-14-2005 01:07 PM  13 years agoPost 2


Salem Oregon is home, I work in Iraq

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I have been trying to explain these very same things to my wife for a LONG time now. I decided to copy and send that to her, maybe she will finally get it... Very humorous!

I have made plenty of bad choices in my life, but at least I was never a Marine!

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10-14-2005 04:45 PM  13 years agoPost 3

rrElite Veteran

sacramento, ca, u.s.

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i really identified with point 1.

if it ain't broke, break it.

10-14-2005 04:49 PM  13 years agoPost 4


I guess it is called Ohio???

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Which one...... There are soo many to choose from!!!!!!!!

XFC '05/'09 A/C pilot. Thanks to- Scorpion Power Systems and TailDraggerRC

10-14-2005 05:02 PM  13 years agoPost 5

rrElite Veteran

sacramento, ca, u.s.

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that was kinda the point of the

if it ain't broke, break it.

10-14-2005 05:17 PM  13 years agoPost 6


Alberta, Canada

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Wow. Point 1 struck me with awe

I'll Fly anything once!!!

10-17-2005 10:37 PM  13 years agoPost 7


south where its hot

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Why is it called common sense if it is so very rare?

08-12-2006 01:59 AM  12 years agoPost 8



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This is worth
a trip to the top !!

08-12-2006 02:25 AM  12 years agoPost 9


A field near Manchester, UK

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hahaha.... gave me a good laugh anyways, and I'm surfing on here at half 2 in the morning, not being able to get to sleep.

p.s. women know all these things, its just that we also believe in hope over experience

08-12-2006 05:26 AM  12 years agoPost 10
Tommy Z

rrKey Veteran

Lubbock, Texas

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08-12-2006 08:35 AM  12 years agoPost 11



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They are all true!!

08-12-2006 09:03 AM  12 years agoPost 12
Shoego Heli


San Diego, CA, USA

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That is SO funny (Eddie Murphy laugh like in Beverly Hills Cop) and I do like rule number 1 and rule number 1. I don't know if I still would've been married the same 21 years if I actually expressed rule number 1 to my wife though.LOL

Oh, where did that bruise come from..?

Having my heli: Cool, Having a working heli: Awesome, Having a day to fly: PRICELESS!

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