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10-13-2005 12:29 PM  12 years agoPost 1
Woody218

rrVeteran

Bismarck, ND

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Up here in the Northern Plains we just recovered from a Historic --- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" with a historic blizzard of up to 24" inches of snow and winds to 60 MPH that broke trees in half, stranded hundreds of motorist in lethal snow banks, closed all roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.

George Bush did not come....FEMA staged nothing....no one howled for the government...no one even uttered an expletive on TV...nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.....no one asked for a FEMA Trailer House....no news anchors moved in.

We just melted snow for water, sent out caravans to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars, fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Aladdin lamps and put on an extra layer of clothes. Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early...we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.


Gravity Always Wins!

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10-13-2005 12:37 PM  12 years agoPost 2
tattooedphreak

rrNovice

Salem Oregon is home, I work in Iraq

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Need a rapper...
We learned from Katrina that a rapper needs to point out injustices before anyone will notice.

Very happy though to see that you aren't harmed though.

I have made plenty of bad choices in my life, but at least I was never a Marine!

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10-13-2005 03:02 PM  12 years agoPost 3
Eury

rrProfessor

Dover NH

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Need a rapper...
We learned from Katrina that a rapper needs to point out injustices before anyone will notice.
Yeah, maybe we can get Eminem to go on TV and and tell us that George Bush doesn't care about white people.

Nick Crego

Citizen #0168

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10-13-2005 03:47 PM  12 years agoPost 4
ChrisMoore

rrApprentice

Bay Village, OH

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I dont know if Eminem is even white

Chris

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10-14-2005 12:08 AM  12 years agoPost 5
the collective

rrKey Veteran

Bayside, NY, U.S.A

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We just melted snow for water, sent out caravans to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars, fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Aladdin lamps and put on an extra layer of clothes. Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early...we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.
No snow to melt in the wake of Katrina, and most folks don't own desalination equipment to make seawater safe to drink... Do you really believe a blizzard compares in any way to the flooding down south? What sort of caravans would you have sent... submarines?

I've experienced blizzards, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, fires and floods, and in my opinion everything is a walk in the park compared to a flood.

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10-14-2005 01:00 AM  12 years agoPost 6
spaceman spiff

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Tucson

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If there was a flood in Bismarck ND, would the ND Police be looting?

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10-14-2005 02:10 AM  12 years agoPost 7
debogus

rrApprentice

Beauklahoma,peoples republic of mexifornia,USSA

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I'll take flood ,over freezing to death.

Eminem aint white ,we voted and tossed his ass out.
He has to check that "other than white box"

Lets see, are you in a conservative state ?
My guess is you are not capable of whining loud enough to be heard.
Soon to be extinct, may god be with you.

The collective ? New york
Your services are needed teaching them how whine.

Dave

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10-14-2005 05:12 PM  12 years agoPost 8
spaceman spiff

rrKey Veteran

Tucson

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Power out in Hollywood
Hollywood Power Outage Sends City Into Chaos
No electricity for 26 minutes. "This is our Tsunami."
By Joshua Gates

LOS ANGELES, CA, September 12, 2005 - Horror and disbelief swept
through the greater Hollywood area this afternoon as a minor
power-outage turned the city into a virtual war zone and local
residents struggled to deal with the devastating aftermath.

The outage struck at 1:35 PM, during L.A.'s busy afternoon coffee and Pilates rush hour. Traffic lights fell dark, local gyms and sushi restaurants were without power for nearly 30 minutes and many businesses were illuminated only by the light of the sun and its blistering 78 degree heat. "It was horrible," said out of work actor and voice-over artist Rick Shea. "I was in a Jamba Juice on Melrose when it hit and the blenders simply shut down. A woman lunged for my Berry Lime Sublime an after that, well, it got pretty ugly."

In the ensuing panic, local radio stations broadcasted conflicting reports as to exactly which local businesses would be offering relief supplies. Almost 100 people flocked to the Starbucks at Santa Monica and La Brea only to find helpless baristas, no hot coffee and a totally meager selection of baked goods.

"My mother is 83 years old and we heard on the radio that this
Starbucks was going to be up and running. If she doesn't get a venti Arabian Mocha Sanani, I don't know what's going to happen to her, I really don't." Said Lucinda Merino of Los Feliz. To make matters worse, those few people who did man age to get coffee were further thwarted by a total lack of artificial sweeteners on site.

"Sugar in the Raw? Are you frigging kidding me?" sobbed avid salsa
dancer, Enrique Santoro. "I'm on the South Beach Diet and my insulin levels are going to go crazy if I use this. Why isn't the rest of the country doing something?"

Deteriorating conditions will force authorities to evacuate the
thousands of people at local Quiznos, movie theaters and upscale
shopping centers, including the The Beverly Center, where a
policeman told CNN unrest was escalating. The officer expressed
concern that the situation could worsen overnight after patrons
defaced multiple "So You Think you Can Dance" posters, looted a Baby Gap and demanded free makeovers en masse at a MAC cosmetics store during the afternoon.

At least 2,000 refugees, a majority of them beautiful, will travel in a! bus convoy to Beverly Hills starting this evening and will be sheltered at the 8-year-old Spago on North Canon where soft omelettes with confit bacon and Hudson Valley foie gras was being airlifted in by The National Guard.

Honorary Mayor of Hollywood Johnny Grant told a group of embedded reporters at a Koo Koo Roo Chicken restaurant on Larchmont that, "The scope and scale of this disaster is almost too much to comprehend. Local carwashes are at a stand-still, the tram tour at Universal Studios has been on hold for almost an hour now and I've been waiting for a rotisserie leg and thigh with a side of green beans for upwards of 15 minutes. This truly is our Tsunami."

"We want to accommodate those people suffering in the Beverly
Center as quickly as possible for the simple reason they have been
through a horrible ordeal," Grant said.

"We need water. We need eda mame. We need low-carb bread," said Martha Owens, 49 who was one of the thousands trapped in the Beverly Center when the escalators stopped moving. "They need to start sending somebody through here."

Along miles of coastline, the power simply surged, causing writers to lose upwards of a page of original screenplay material, causing Direct TV service to work only intermittently and forcing local residents to walk outside and look helplessly at the Pacific from their ocean view decks. "I can hardly begin to put this experience into words," said longtime Two and a Half Men writer John Edlestein. "I was just getting into my rhythm and making some real headway on a scene where Charlie Sheen parties with a busload of female volleyball players when my Power Book crapped out. I have nothing. Simply, nothing."

Delivering his weekly radio address live from the White House,
President Bush announced he was deploying more than 7,000 additional active-duty troops to the region. He comforted victims and praised relief workers.

"But despite their best efforts, the magnitude of responding to a crisis over a disaster area this sunny and trendy has
created tremendous problems," he said. "The result is that many of
our citizens simply are not getting the help they need, especially in the Hollywood Hills, and that is unacceptable."

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10-14-2005 05:38 PM  12 years agoPost 9
RQ-1B DRIVER

rrApprentice

Whittier, CA

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LOL. Yeah, was there for the Rodney King riots, all those disaffected folks had to burn, steal , and rob. I t will be interesting to see what happens when the **** hits the fan in Calif (large earthquake). Self reliance will command a premium. I will be like the Koreans who armed up and defended their stores and property from the same type of crowd, that was widely seen on TV in New Orleans.

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10-14-2005 06:32 PM  12 years agoPost 10
Eury

rrProfessor

Dover NH

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Spiff, that's got to be from the Onion. That was great.

Nick Crego

Citizen #0168

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10-14-2005 07:01 PM  12 years agoPost 11
spaceman spiff

rrKey Veteran

Tucson

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Not sure where that one came from, a freind e mailed it to me.

You are right though, very Onion-ish, Onion rules!

For you unenlightened souls - http://www.theonion.com

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10-14-2005 07:28 PM  12 years agoPost 12
Ed Moore

rrNovice

West Sussex, UK

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Here's a 'what do you do' question that I guess, after the earthquake which will happen at some point levels most of LA, everyone will start pointing fingers saying 'why didn't we do that' and the usual hindsight crusading thing.

Scientists want to east the San Andreas fault line by pumping it full of water to lubricate it. This will cause many many small tremours, maybe some slightly bigger tremous, but nothing close to the city destryoing thing that will happen otherwise. Trouble is, these little tremous will cause a streat light to bash into someones BMW or kill and Granny, which will cause the litigious Sh!t to hit the fan, which is why they can't do it at present.

So question- let the scientists begin their scheme or wait indefinatelly for the big one?

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10-14-2005 07:29 PM  12 years agoPost 13
Ed Moore

rrNovice

West Sussex, UK

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P.S. I love the Onion Especially the article about trying to teach 'Intelligent Falling' instead of Gravity

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10-14-2005 09:10 PM  12 years agoPost 14
brooksnb

rrKey Veteran

Sussex , New Brunswick , Canada

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historic blizzard of up to 24" inches of snow and winds to 60 MPH
OK...so what are you going to do when it really storms ??

.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.... Dennis

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