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HomeOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Some good blonde jokes
04-01-2005 01:55 PM  13 years agoPost 1
blockatvalpo

rrKey Veteran

Reston, VA

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Blondes

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a
bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida
or the moon?

"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
you see Florida.......?????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
>
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KNITTING

highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> ~~~
>
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
>
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
>
> day.
>
>
> The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
>
>
> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
>
>
> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
>
> on the sun!"
>
>
> The Russian and the American looked at each other and
>
> shook their heads.
>
>
> "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
>
> up!" said the Russian.
>
>
> To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
>
> know. We're going at night!"
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> ~~~~
>
>
> IN A VACUUM
>
>
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
>
>
> It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed
>
> on Science & Nature.
>
>
> Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone
>
> calls your name, can you hear it?"
>
>
> She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
>
> off?"
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> ~~~~
>
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
>
> acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
>
> were.
>
>
> The blonde responded by saying that one was named
>
> Rolex and one was named Timex.
>
>
> Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
>
> dogs like that?"
>
>
> "HELLOOOOOO," answered the blond. "They're watch
>
> dogs!"

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04-01-2005 03:13 PM  13 years agoPost 2
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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I really liked the first two..

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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04-01-2005 05:12 PM  13 years agoPost 3
reaganreagan

rrNovice

Texas

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

She thinks she is going to go to the sun at night. That one was funny, but they all were good.

Rappy 30 V1 and V2

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