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HomeOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Everything Free in Heaven
03-30-2005 02:48 AM  13 years agoPost 1
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in

a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly

due to her interest in health food and exercising.


When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their

mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath

suite and a Jacuzzi.


As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this

was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven."


Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship-style

golf course that the home was located. They would have golfing

privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one

representing the great golf courses on earth.


The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"


St. Peter replied, "This is Heaven, you play for free."


Next, they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with

the cuisine's of the World laid out.


" How much to eat?" asked the old man.


"Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied,

with some exasperation.


"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man

asked timidly.


St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part - you can eat as much as you

like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick.

This is Heaven."


With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat

and stomping on it, and screaming wildly. St. Peter and his wife both

tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.


The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it

weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years

ago!"

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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03-30-2005 02:25 PM  13 years agoPost 2
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

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Dam it!!!!!!! I knew the barracuda has a plan

It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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