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HomeOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › What Are You Drinking?
12-09-2004 05:07 AM  13 years agoPost 1
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink............

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles. Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated; actually, she has NO clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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12-09-2004 05:26 AM  13 years agoPost 2
LiveToDrive76

rrApprentice

Fort Meade, SD

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I've never gone home with the toothless waitress

Erik

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12-09-2004 05:36 AM  13 years agoPost 3
cfranks

rrVeteran

Adelaide South Australia

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The 'toothless waitress' reminded me. I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman yet, but I confess, I have woken up with some.

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12-09-2004 06:14 AM  13 years agoPost 4
Jagboy69

rrKey Veteran

Miami

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Right now... some of that captain morgan private stock mixed with coke. A real shame actually to mix this fine rum with anything!

Jason /// Sceadu50/9chp WWW.Jagboy69.com

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12-09-2004 02:38 PM  13 years agoPost 5
Jarold C

rrApprentice

Somewhere near Pittsburgh, PA

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ARRRGH, you mixed it with Coke?

What would the Captain say?!

Its the first rum I can say I actually liked straight up. Try it in a real copper "tot". Makes me feel like a pirate! AAARGH! ( OK, it just makes me want to swing from the swag lamp chain in the livingroom and sing sea chanties!)

Enjoy!

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12-09-2004 09:52 PM  13 years agoPost 6
Jagboy69

rrKey Veteran

Miami

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Your right Jarold... It's a crime to mix private stock with anything.
I like it straight in a small glass with a couple of rocks. Bacardi is for mixing.

Jason /// Sceadu50/9chp WWW.Jagboy69.com

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12-10-2004 12:59 AM  13 years agoPost 7
Jarold C

rrApprentice

Somewhere near Pittsburgh, PA

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I forgot....Add a good Cuban Romeo y Julieta to that private stock!

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