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12-08-2004 10:54 PM  13 years agoPost 1
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
(Note: this is VERY likely to happen in a government office!)
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night...
and there aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
follow a group of Hell's Angels on the highway.
Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your hat.
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You walk to work, get there, and realize your dress is
stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

author...unknown...but troubled


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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12-09-2004 01:11 AM  13 years agoPost 2
Phranque

rrApprentice

Wherever you go, there you are.

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Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
That would be just my luck......

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12-09-2004 01:58 AM  13 years agoPost 3
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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Stephen that is why I don't drink anymore

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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12-09-2004 04:14 AM  13 years agoPost 4
flipped2left

rrKey Veteran

indianapolis,in.

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good one or shall i say most f them fit my profile except the one about the dress and pantyhose!! oh yeh the bra one don't apply either!! unless it's on my arse!

Smile! people will wonder what you're up to!!

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12-09-2004 07:49 PM  13 years agoPost 5
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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You wake up face down on the pavement.
I only done that once, and it was raining


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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12-10-2004 02:09 AM  13 years agoPost 6
cfranks

rrVeteran

Adelaide South Australia

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I woke up in the gutter once. Staggered slowly to my feet. Stretched carefully.


And fell off the roof!

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12-10-2004 10:38 AM  13 years agoPost 7
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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LOL, I've yet to get that drunk but I'm working on it


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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12-10-2004 08:43 PM  13 years agoPost 8
daggit

rrElite Veteran

Claremont, MN

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You wake up face down on the pavement.
I woke up in a pop-up camper once... only it wasn't popped-up! and it wasn't my camper... what a night!

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12-11-2004 01:59 AM  13 years agoPost 9
RappyTappy

rrProfessor

Traveling the USA

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You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
]

Thats a good one, lol.

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