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HomeOff Topics › 15 things a man can do at wal-mart while the wife is shopping
11-03-2004 11:08 PM  13 years agoPost 1
classic

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15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her own sweet time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares' . . and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack . . And when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And my personal favorite:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here.

I would have put this in off topics, but every single post in there was about the election!

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11-03-2004 11:21 PM  13 years agoPost 2
scottc

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shakopee minnesota..USA

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Very Funn
And when your done with all those thing Go Into the Lingerie Department..

Hey I didn't ask for this fetish.!!!But I'am sure paying for it....

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11-03-2004 11:32 PM  13 years agoPost 3
ant_mb

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United States

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Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
I was running a little short that week. so what.LOL

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11-03-2004 11:33 PM  13 years agoPost 4
classic

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I like M&M's too, but why are they so hard to peel??

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11-03-2004 11:40 PM  13 years agoPost 5
doorman

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Sherwood, Arkansas

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M&M's
We actually did that one evening...
That's my "Evil Twin" for you!!!!!!!!
And thanks for the other ideas too!!!

AMA 2918-Team Spin Blades,,Castle Creations, Unique Aircraft

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11-04-2004 01:35 AM  13 years agoPost 6
FSH

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Doorman speaks the truth.... we really did do the "M&M" thing at WalMart..... not to mention calling the clerk in the Auto Dept. "Battery Dude" and the checkout cashier "Cashier Dude".... There's a lot more to that story for sure......
By the way.... HE'S THE EVIL TWIN!

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11-04-2004 02:28 AM  13 years agoPost 7
Boom_Strike

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Littleton, CO

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LMFAO that is hilarious

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11-04-2004 02:42 AM  13 years agoPost 8
Inspector Fuzz

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NLA

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Walmart Sucks...
CJames you forgot a few:

1. Finding out just where that sheetie baby diaper smell is coming from..

2. Counting illegal aliens..

3. Whatching the guy at the in -store McDonalds pick his nose..

4. Conting the # of mud-covered 4 wheel drives in the parking lot..

5. Staring in amazement at the collective # of peoplen missing front teeth and congrated in the same area..

6. Buy tickets for the next monster truck/tractor pull coming to your town...

If I think of more, I will post..

FIGHT THE POWER. BOYCOTT WALMART!!!!!

JEFF

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11-04-2004 02:56 AM  13 years agoPost 9
pilot74

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While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
LMAO

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11-04-2004 04:34 AM  13 years agoPost 10
vinrx7

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Americas finest city

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KRYPTIK,
you taking a break? what are you doing out of the war room?
i was going crazy so i had to leave. i dont want to have debate nightmares. hehehe

STUPID TREE!!!

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11-04-2004 04:36 AM  13 years agoPost 11
greenmeanie

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connecticut

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LOL
LOL

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11-04-2004 04:44 AM  13 years agoPost 12
hoverking

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Tennessee

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my wife says you guys are bad

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11-04-2004 04:47 AM  13 years agoPost 13
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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Whatching the guy at the in -store McDonalds pick his nose..
I know where I am not having lunch tomorrow


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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11-04-2004 04:48 AM  13 years agoPost 14
Furious Predator

rrProfessor

Kitchener, Ontario, Canada

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Whoa, i just checked out the "War room" for the first time....i quickly learned why it earned that name

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11-04-2004 06:56 AM  13 years agoPost 15
G.Man

rrProfessor

Bristol

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03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
LMFAO thats so gross but soooo funny

Don't Email me as I wont reply - PM Only (spam countermeasures)

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11-04-2004 03:28 PM  13 years agoPost 16
helidog

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usa

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Try this one. My wife gets so pissed at me for this one.

I like to get in a crowd at the store usually the cashiers line and let a smelly one. No not the little popcorn farts but the ones that you need a gas mask to survive the odor.
When everyone starts to look at who smells, blame it on the person ahead of you by looking at them with a discussed face and back up. I wish I had a video on the faces of the unexpected fart sniffers.

Its nice to be the Big Dog.

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11-04-2004 03:56 PM  13 years agoPost 17
dragonlord

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luton uk

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16 call your solisitor after they call the cops and you get sectioned under the mental health act for 1 to 15

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11-04-2004 05:37 PM  13 years agoPost 18
woody

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Nothwest Pa.

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Mullets
I like to count the mullets at Wal-Mart.

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11-04-2004 10:02 PM  13 years agoPost 19
classic

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"accidentally"
open a bag of jelly beans all over the floor and cry out "MY BABIES!!!"
"Don't step on my babies!!"

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11-05-2004 04:13 PM  13 years agoPost 20
Jagboy69

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Miami

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You know when you charge something and have to sign....

I usually sign past presidents names... Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan
ect They never check signatures.

Jason /// Sceadu50/9chp WWW.Jagboy69.com

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