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HelicopterOff Topics › Anyone else have snow like this?!?
01-01-2013 01:53 AM  5 years agoPost 1
classic

rrElite Veteran

All over the place!

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(thought you guys would appreciate this)

December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the darn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Gosh darn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the jerk who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the gosh darn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry freaking Christmas! 20 more inches of the gosh darn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think shes a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wondeful Life" one mor time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me 1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WIFE is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel where the sun doesn't shine. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care!

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01-01-2013 01:56 AM  5 years agoPost 2
McKrackin

rrProfessor

Lucasville,Ohio

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rotflmfao...lol....lol....

I literally never use the word literally right.

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01-01-2013 02:10 AM  5 years agoPost 3
Redlight

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East TN

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That is the best post I have read on any forum....EVER.

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01-01-2013 02:31 AM  5 years agoPost 4
Riq

rrKey Veteran

ND

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LOL
gooder

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01-01-2013 02:40 AM  5 years agoPost 5
wrongler

rrProfessor

Brewerton, New York

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Welcome to upstate NY sno belt area!

Bill Whittaker

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01-01-2013 02:50 AM  5 years agoPost 6
deafheliflyer

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Arizona

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Awesome Post.. Thank you for the laughs!!!!!

Crash-Prone and overcoming it!!!

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01-01-2013 02:51 AM  5 years agoPost 7
5high

rrNovice

NW Montana

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Sounds like Montana in June...except for the snow plow. We just keep driving and packing it down until your up so high you hit the wires.

Life is short, Let it fly!

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01-01-2013 03:17 AM  5 years agoPost 8
jhartsock3

rrApprentice

Greenwood, IN

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lmao that has to be the funniest thing I have ever read.

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01-01-2013 03:29 AM  5 years agoPost 9
RCHSF

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NC

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Awesome Post Thanks CJames. I hope we never get one like that, or even close.

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01-01-2013 03:48 AM  5 years agoPost 10
classic

rrElite Veteran

All over the place!

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Thanks!!
I thought you guys would appreciate this

Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care!

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01-01-2013 04:38 AM  5 years agoPost 11
Ravenhyper50

rrKey Veteran

Canada's Capital

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Ok, CJames that was good, because I actually laughed out loud!!!

Thanks for the LOL

Cheers,
Raven

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01-01-2013 05:15 AM  5 years agoPost 12
Wynn1427

rrApprentice

Ca. 93612

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That was great and well worth the read.

Wynn

Logo 550sx

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01-01-2013 06:32 AM  5 years agoPost 13
BobOD

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New York- USA

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Being given little white pills while tied to the bed....PRICELESS!

That was a hilarious post.

Team POP Secret

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01-01-2013 12:39 PM  5 years agoPost 14
rc3po

rrVeteran

Danville, Illinois

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That was SNOW funny..

Better not get one like that here.

Happay Happay Happay...

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01-01-2013 01:37 PM  5 years agoPost 15
heli-cuzz

rrElite Veteran

Pittston, Pa. USA

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That was great!!!

Fury 55 NIB Furion6 CGY750 fbl helicopter-Frenzy CGY750 fbl nitro-Frenzy fbl NOBAR90

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01-01-2013 02:07 PM  5 years agoPost 16
Flat Eric

rrNovice

United Kingdom

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Man that is freakin funny!

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01-01-2013 02:22 PM  5 years agoPost 17
4cyclic

rrKey Veteran

Montreal, Can. and northern Vermont

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Almost spilled my coffee laughing so hard !

Life is meaningful flying helis.

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01-01-2013 03:18 PM  5 years agoPost 18
GyroFreak

rrProfessor

Orlando Florida ...28N 81W

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That was great. Thanks.

I think about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, then wonder what I'm here after ?

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01-01-2013 03:44 PM  5 years agoPost 19
ssrobzoom

rrKey Veteran

Tn

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Pictures?

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01-01-2013 06:04 PM  5 years agoPost 20
JeffKollin

rrKey Veteran

Jenison, MI

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There is no pictures. Jan 8th he is wondering why he is tied to a bed. That story has been on the net for years. Thanks for posting again. It is always a good laugh. Especially this time of year.

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HelicopterOff Topics › Anyone else have snow like this?!?
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