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12-17-2011 03:33 AM  5 years agoPost 1
McKrackin

rrProfessor

Lucasville,Ohio

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Please leave this visible for a day Mark....

Guys,a few,and I mean a very few,know that I've been having issues at home.

Here it is....

My 19 year old daughter is hooked on drugs.
She has been bleeding me dry.

She took my parents completely before I even knew there was a problem.
They have been giving her right at $100 a day for over a year.
Nobody told me about anything until they were broke....then she started that crap about "I'll kill myself if I don't get $30"....

It all makes sense now...My Dad suffering from ulcers to the point of almost dying.
He just had a spinal surgery and he is not coming out of the anesthetic like he should.
It's been three weeks and he can't get out of his walker because he's wracked with pain from my kid.

She's been calling and texting him constantly for money saying she'll kill herself if he doesn't give her money.

I feel myself being a horrible person and hoping she just dies before she causes any more pain...
I failed her....she caused pain....I caused pain.
I love that child more than I even care to breath.
A whole family is dying though.

My Dad is dying because I'm a failure as a parent......

If I'm cross with you.....Trust me...it's not you.

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12-17-2011 04:13 AM  5 years agoPost 2
Tyler

rrElite Veteran

Chicagoland area

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Priorities

Sometimes the best thing to do is drop everything in life that is not essential and just spend quiet time next to your loved ones in need.

Just you, them, and time. Nothing else is important, NOTHING!

I speak from experience, and know others on these forums that have walked in my shoes. I gave up 4 1/2 years of my life for a loved one and cherish the sacrifice. I'll do it again in a heartbeat.

Enjoy things that money can buy IF you don't lose the things money can't buy.

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12-17-2011 04:35 AM  5 years agoPost 3
davehour

rrElite Veteran

Guayama, Puerto Rico 00785

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I'm very sad for your situation. I can imagine how hard is to experience all of what you have mentioned. Seek for help, get professional counseling, and use whatever resource you can available that might help. And don't forget there's a GOD.

Beautiful words are found everywhere, and I won't mention any of them. But I will exhort you to not overlook the good things you have done in your life, and the goals you have attained.

We tend to overlook the good things, and let the bad things take over. Give credit to yourself, and do all you can to help, not what you can't. We all have limits, and when we try go beyond them, we end hurting ourselves. And remember, we can't do for others what they aren't willing to do for themselves.

Take care and again, don't forget there's a GOD.

David

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12-17-2011 05:04 AM  5 years agoPost 4
Justin Stuart (RIP)

rrMaster

Plano, Texas

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You probably don't want to hear this, but if I knew you personally and lived close by, I would be calling the authorities on your behalf to try and put your daughter into an inpatient treatment center for awhile. Your family dynamic needs a lot of work, but the most pressing issue right now is the fact that your 19 y/o daughter is threatening to kill herself. Everything else can be fixed now, but if she goes and does something stupid like taking an overdose of something, then you can no longer fix the problems you are experiencing.

Call your local psyc ER and ask for help to stabilize your daughter. Don't wait thinking you can fix it yourself. Get some professional help with her ASAP. The situation you are describing needs immediate intervention.

It is a good step that you are reaching out to us for help.

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12-17-2011 05:21 AM  5 years agoPost 5
pinoydad

rrApprentice

auburn

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do what justin had said ..good advise ..sorry to hear all this happening to you ernie ..take care man ..

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12-17-2011 05:24 AM  5 years agoPost 6
unclejane

rrElite Veteran

santa fe, NM, USA

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My Dad is dying because I'm a failure as a parent
Well, your daughter is ill - that doesn't make you a failure as a parent at all. Drug addiction is an illness all its own and it doesn't discriminate on family situation or quality of parenting, etc.

I would agree with the other poster that it's probably time for some professional help. There are lots of options out there, including some that don't cost money (i.e. Alcoholics Anonymous and some others) and can be very helpful...

LS

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12-17-2011 05:24 AM  5 years agoPost 7
davehour

rrElite Veteran

Guayama, Puerto Rico 00785

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Valuable post Justin!

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12-17-2011 05:26 AM  5 years agoPost 8
CalmAir

rrApprentice

Camarillo, Ca.

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I failed her....she caused pain....I caused pain.
I love that child more than I even care to breath.
A whole family is dying though.......

You have not failed her until you decide to "give up". I would suggest you accept the pain, move forward, and find professional help. She is going to need a lot of help, especially if your talking about crack.

Whatever you do, "don't give up on her".

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12-17-2011 05:35 AM  5 years agoPost 9
DaytonHeliWife

rrApprentice

Dayton OH-USA

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Everyone has said wonderful, loving posts to you. Your RR family here would never judge you, or think of you as a "Failure." You're doing the best with what you can, and for that, you're far from a failure.

Justin gave very valuable advice..... I would call your local Hospital and see what they can recommend for a hold on your daughter. She needs help. She's already cried out for it with the threats she's given.

Dave and CalmAir are right.... you need help, as well. Please find a counselor, therapist, psychologist... anyone you see fit at this moment to talk to. In fact, they might be able to give advice on what can be done for your daughter, as well.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Ernie.

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12-17-2011 05:42 AM  5 years agoPost 10
jimmymc2286

rrApprentice

Commiskey, Indiana USA

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do it

There is nothing more important then to do just what Justin has pointed out. Do what ever you have to do to get your daughter the help she needs. No matter what you feel or think now, the fact is she needs help, and time is not on your side. Your parenting skills are not the problem, Drugs are. Step back take a deep breath, and take her to get help. If you don't know where to take her, take her to your local hospital or police department and they will tell you where to get help. Do this for her, your family, and your self. It is important that you do it now.

Jimmy, If it looks like a heli I like it.

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12-17-2011 05:50 AM  5 years agoPost 11
BobTheBuilder32

rrApprentice

Brooklyn, NY

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My prayers are with you and your family mckrackin..

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12-17-2011 06:49 AM  5 years agoPost 12
budz

rrApprentice

las vegas

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justin gave a very very good advice.

if you do not do something now, then you failed yourself, you failed your daugther and you failed all your loved ones. you have a very serious matter in your hand right now and you have to avail the institutions that are in place.

we all wish you and your daugther all the best.

team solo

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12-17-2011 07:01 AM  5 years agoPost 13
nwmtech

rrApprentice

Bellingham, WA

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I've got to agree with others man. You have in no way failed yet. You've only failed the minute you give up. Just because you don't know how to fix this right now doesn't mean you can't learn. There are many people out there who devote their whole lives and careers to fixing situations just like this. Let them help. Let them teach you how to help your daughter. It sounds like she's pretty deep in the game so the only way to give her a second chance is to bring in re-enforcements and although I'm sure you'd love her to go willingly it's just not going to happen. Tough love is still love.

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12-17-2011 09:22 AM  5 years agoPost 14
cvdiver

rrNovice

Orlando, Fl

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Suicide threats are more than just threats. YOU have not failed! You can help her, do not give up, no matter how hard it becomes....

http://www.ohiospf.org/content.php?pageurl=about
http://www.pikecac.org/FHC/html/fhc_services.html
http://www.ohiospf.org/countymain.php?countyid=66
http://www.pvadamh.org/DrugandAlcohol.php

YOU MUST DO SOMETHING NOW!

You have succeeded in bringing her into this world. You have succeeded in your life up to now. This is your opportunity to not only succeed by helping her, this is your chance to be her hero! You can do it!

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12-17-2011 12:47 PM  5 years agoPost 15
wrongler

rrProfessor

Brewerton, New York

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I think it goes to show you have the support on this forum. Lots of people with good advice. The only one right now that can do anything might be you. Pick your head up and go forward, do what you have to do for your daughter and you family. Don't wait!
My prayers are with you and your family.
Bill

Bill Whittaker

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12-17-2011 12:53 PM  5 years agoPost 16
MattJen

rrElite Veteran

UK

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echo the sentiments of others here,

hope all goes well, families are important and no matter what our kids do or the decisions they take for good or bad they are still our kids.

Matt

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12-17-2011 02:02 PM  5 years agoPost 17
Tyler

rrElite Veteran

Chicagoland area

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There is not a single one of us that is not in contact with someone who is dealing with a drug addicted loved one.

Enjoy things that money can buy IF you don't lose the things money can't buy.

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12-17-2011 02:12 PM  5 years agoPost 18
McKrackin

rrProfessor

Lucasville,Ohio

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Thanks all for allowing me to vent and for your positive thoughts and prayers.

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12-17-2011 05:17 PM  5 years agoPost 19
fenderstrat

rrProfessor

Aston,Pa

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first of all the medical community has steadfastly stood by the definition of addiction as a DISEASE,its no different than diabetes or bi polar.(to the ama)

addiction IS NOT a character flaw,it is not the product of poor upbringing,it is not for the poor and stupid.it knows no boundries of age race gender religion,financial situation,education ect.it f$#@#s people's lives up without discrimination.Dont beat yourself up over something you have no control over.your daughter was well into her addiction and HIDING it well,which addicts do.this is not your fault.Having said that, now that you do KNOW,you can have some control and make decisions.THE HARDEST PART IS FINDING OUT THE TRUTH.once this is done and she admits she has a problem and needs help.The rest will start to fall into place

Your daughter needs an inpatient rehab to properly treat and diagnose any and all problems.SHE needs To GET CLEAN first,and the rest will take care of it self.Dont bother trying any type of "cold turkey" treatment,i.e locking her in a room ect.It wont work and medically its dangerous.Get her to a medically supervised detox/rehab,get her clean get her counseling,and you will then be able to rebuild your family.

No one has died and no one is in jail.this can all be fixed.Good Luck,keep whatever faith/religion(if any) that you believe in strong.And you and your family can work through this

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12-17-2011 06:07 PM  5 years agoPost 20
FILE IFR

rrApprentice

Anytown, USA 01234

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She took my parents completely before I even knew there was a problem.
They have been giving her right at $100 a day for over a year.
Nobody told me about anything until they were broke.
Wow

Seriously? Is that true?

Futaba.. Always Imitated, Never Duplicated.

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