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HelicopterOff Topics › language of the sexes...
09-01-2003 11:44 PM  14 years agoPost 1



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Women's English:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious
by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting and furniture and
wallpaper and ...

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're
not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me ?! = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk
him until he goes to sleep?
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is

Men's English:

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired." = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to
fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you're making such a big
deal out of this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted
psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't
look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am
a deep person
and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it harder for you to
have sex with other guys.

(while shopping)
"I like that one better." = Pick any bloody dress and let's go
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I
am gay.

Don't Email me as I wont reply - PM Only (spam countermeasures)

09-02-2003 02:58 AM  14 years agoPost 2
Vertical Limit



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Now that is funny.

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09-02-2003 03:50 PM  14 years agoPost 3


Orange, Texas

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Hay Galifrey

I only see one thing wrong with you list.

There's nothing illegal about a married woman sleeping around.

Rule 1 Don't get married in Florida
Rule 2 Don't Get Divorced in Florida
Rule 3 Don't have any Kids In Florida

09-02-2003 04:09 PM  14 years agoPost 4


Dallas, GA

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hehe, that list is about right

09-02-2003 05:29 PM  14 years agoPost 5



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My fav...

My fav is this one....

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.


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09-02-2003 06:45 PM  14 years agoPost 6



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noted and edited...

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09-02-2003 06:46 PM  14 years agoPost 7

rrKey Veteran


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I was under the idea, florida had some of the best laws... like No alimony.. someone else care to enlighten me???

Jason /// Sceadu50/9chp

09-02-2003 09:54 PM  14 years agoPost 8



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Hey Jagboy, um we do have alimony here in Florida. If the people are below a certain income level no alimony can be awarded. But there is no dowery. And no common law marriage!!!!!

The draw backs are that Florida does take children seriously. That came out wrong. The state doesn't play games about kids. They figure parents are too stupid to know what is right for a child. LOL Are horible as thats sounds, that is just what they think.

As far as divorce goes in Florida, you gotta have the right lawer from the start or your screwed. Most men wait till the last minute to find a lawer and then just pick the cheapest one. I researched my lawer a year ahead of time. Not only does my kid live with me, the ex' has to pay me child support. lol And she paid my Atty fee's.

I'm bragin' now. Sorry if I pissed in anyones Cornflakes.

09-02-2003 10:28 PM  14 years agoPost 9


Orange, Texas

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I guess I should have been a little clearer, My comments were aimed at the way Florida is about children.

My wife has a daughter that was living with her father due to the childs special needs. (medical condition) last year my wife her X and myself decided to bring the child to live with us in Alabama. The child was moved to Ala. enrolled in school & so forth and so on.

The grandmother filed charges that the mother kidnapped the girl and and filed papers to have her removed from our home and for her to take custody.

Long story short, the gradmother won!!!!! We havn't had any contact with the daughter in over 6 months now, the state of FLA won't do anything about it.

Any state that overules the desires of the parrents of a child for no good reason is pretty much fu&k up in my book.

I have raised 4 kids to date all of them are doing well, no axe murders, two girls neither of which have ended up pregnant.

Alabama inspected our home and evaluated us and report to Fla a glowing report, and still the grandmother ended up with the child.

Florida's legal system Sucks

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