Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my pad
Not a heli was moving; the servos were bad
The kids were all missing, they live with my ex
And I was drunk; tweaking the King and the 'Rex
I put out the PallMall; cracked open a tube
And started to feel stupid, like when I was a NooB
When outside I heard something; said, "what the hell?"
And reached for the shotgun and grabbed me some shells
Threw open the door, and shouldered the gun
Pulled back the hammer; said. "show y'self, son!!"
From behind the bush rose a fat guy and a midget
The trigger was tickling; I wanted to itch it
The fat guy said, "Whoah, Hoss, that gun, you can nix it
"I'm having some issues; can you help me fix it?
"I just got a new RTF Esky sleigh
"When I try to fly, it goes ev'ry which way
"It drifts to the left and spins that way too
"And wants to go backwards; now what can I do?
I put down the gun and then shook my head
Thought to myself, "damn noobies" then said
"The first thing you do is get CG right
"If you ever plan to have a good flight
"Move the boxes up front and throw out the midget
"Keep the thing light so in flight it won't fidget
"Level that plate that controls your direction
"And check all the screws; they need careful inspection
"Turn up the gyro until your butt shakes
"Then back off a notch; and that's all it takes
"Now read the Good Book by the man they call RADD
"Follow it closely, though it will make you mad
"There is much more to it; on that you can bet
"Read all the forums; heed advice from the vets
"You learn from the fingers; you fly from the heart
"Do some research, and that's a good start"
The fat guy was wise; he was writing this down
He started to smile, then said with a frown,
"I thought it was supposed to fly just like it sits
"I guess it takes more than pushing some sticks
"I'll heed your advice and fly up to Heaven!
"In return for your help, here's a new DX7"
A soul in tension is learning to fly