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HelicopterOff Topics › You've been waiting for them, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards.
07-09-2008 03:28 AM  9 years agoPost 1
xcellgasman101

rrElite Veteran

WOODWARD, OKLA....

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Eighth Place

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it t collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.

The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.

Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.. '**** happens'.

THEY WALK AMOUNG US....

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL. XGM/VGM

John Crotts
www.soonerhelicamproductions.com

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07-09-2008 03:28 PM  9 years agoPost 2
OzarkCopterBum

rrApprentice

Arkansas Ozarks

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You believe everything that gets forwarded to you? This particular list has been going around since at least 1998 and have proved to be bogus.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin06.asp

Repo man's got all day and all night! Lets go get a drink!

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07-09-2008 03:37 PM  9 years agoPost 3
redvtr1000

rrVeteran

covington, GA

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lol....burn!!!!

funny anyhow but half of them seem too far fetched anyway.

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07-09-2008 04:50 PM  9 years agoPost 4
1stPlace

rrApprentice

Ohio USA

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The "Official Darwin Awards"

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2008.html

Diejenigen, die nicht lernen aus den Fehlern der Vergangenheit bestimmt sind, zu wiederholen.

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07-09-2008 04:53 PM  9 years agoPost 5
Topher

rrVeteran

Rochester, Michigan

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I remember hearing a new report several years back about a guy dying similar to the winning spot. Although IIRC the guy was just picking up crap and not giving the elephant an enema.

will wash your heli for a quarter

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07-09-2008 06:39 PM  9 years agoPost 6
1stPlace

rrApprentice

Ohio USA

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Watch at YouTube

Diejenigen, die nicht lernen aus den Fehlern der Vergangenheit bestimmt sind, zu wiederholen.

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07-09-2008 07:23 PM  9 years agoPost 7
SSN Pru

rrElite Veteran

Taxachusetts

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It may be bunk but god damn was it funny!

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07-10-2008 12:15 AM  9 years agoPost 8
xcellgasman101

rrElite Veteran

WOODWARD, OKLA....

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You believe everything that gets forwarded to you? This particular list has been going around since at least 1998 and have proved to be bogus.
I didn't care if it was true or not, I just thought it was funny,, Sorry you don't see the humor in it,, Jezzzzzz Maybe you should go drink a beer and relax!!!! XGM/VGM

John Crotts
www.soonerhelicamproductions.com

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07-10-2008 12:24 AM  9 years agoPost 9
flipped2left

rrKey Veteran

indianapolis,in.

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gee! i thought jimco and i were going to be mentioned!!

Smile! people will wonder what you're up to!!

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08-01-2008 03:30 AM  9 years agoPost 10
kryptik

rrNovice

South Carolina

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Here's another Darwin candidate...

Don't try this "at home"...especially if you live on Skunk Hollow Road.

If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't ...

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HelicopterOff Topics › You've been waiting for them, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards.
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