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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › letter of divorce
10-08-2005 02:47 AM  12 years agoPost 1
rcnut

rrElite Veteran

Rockford, Illinois

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Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and Ihave nothing to show
for
it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me
that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
week,
you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails
done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came
home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the
game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me
oranything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
Whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving yourletter. It's true that
you
and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far
cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you
cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was
"You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything
if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork
seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that
morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
loved
you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I
had
hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you
were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the
filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you
wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Team Miniature Aircraft
"I love the smell of Nitro in the morning!"
...Citizen 654!

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