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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Add your Blonde Jokes!!! (no-offence to blondes)
10-08-2005 02:20 PM  12 years agoPost 21
webbhost

rrKey Veteran

england - Leicester

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thought that was the one where the third one says "im lonely bring the other 2 back" for a minute lol, still good :P

meh

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10-08-2005 06:40 PM  12 years agoPost 22
dasd

rrVeteran

Carol Stream, IL

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A blonde takes her hail-damaged car to a body shop. The owner sees she's blonde, so he tells her to save the money, take the car home, and blow into the tailpipe to pop out the dents. The guy's laughing as the blonde drives home to take his advice. While she's blowing into the tailpipe in her driveway, her blonde friend shows up and asks what she's doing. She ways she's blowing into the tailpipe to pop out the hail dents. Her friends looks at her and says...(here it comes)...


"You stupid blonde. That will never work."

"Why not?"

"Because the windows are rolled down."

GROAN

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10-08-2005 11:28 PM  12 years agoPost 23
woppini

rrApprentice

Dublin CA

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How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?........... Fertilized!

my wifes cooking is so bad, the flies are sewing the holes in the screen door

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10-09-2005 06:09 AM  12 years agoPost 24
Ando

rrNovice

Mt. Pleasant, Texas

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This neighbor of a blondie lady notices here running out to here mail box, checking it, then running back in within every 5 min. After about a hour or so, he finally got curious and went out and met her half way one time and ask why she is doing this? Her reply was "This stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!!!"

Andrew

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10-09-2005 06:48 AM  12 years agoPost 25
Balance

rrApprentice

Rapid City, SD, USA

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Buffy the blonde calls her friend Tom to come over and help her with a jigsaw puzzle.

She tells him, "None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges or corners."

After a bit of begging a pleading, Buffy finally convinces Tom to come over and help. "I'll be right over," he says.

Fifteen minutes later Tom walks into the kitchen where Buffy has the puzzle pieces scattered all over the table, and says, "For God's sake, Buffy, put the Corn Flakes back in the box!!"

FOR SALE Kyosho Nexus .30 and Futaba 8UHF lots of extras

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10-09-2005 04:28 PM  12 years agoPost 26
1974jason

rrNovice

Alberta, Canada

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Speaking of puzzles!!

This blonde came over yesterday and told me she finished the puzzle she had and it only took her 8 months! She was so proud because on the box it said for 1-2 years!!!


I'll Fly anything once!!!

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10-10-2005 03:27 AM  12 years agoPost 27
Mr.Bowflex

rrApprentice

Toronto Canada

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What do you call a blonde that colours her hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence.

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10-10-2005 09:52 AM  12 years agoPost 28
Luckylandings

rrVeteran

Oregon USA

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

A: You can put a load in a washing machine and it wont follow you around for 3 weeks!!!!!

.................................

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10-10-2005 03:50 PM  12 years agoPost 29
ChrisLaFollette

rrVeteran

Altha, FL

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Hahahahaha.

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10-10-2005 11:17 PM  12 years agoPost 30
Luckylandings

rrVeteran

Oregon USA

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Q: Why dont blondes use birth control pills?

A: They keep falling out.


......................

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10-11-2005 01:01 AM  12 years agoPost 31
Barnes

rrNovice

Port Allegany in NW​PA. USA

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what do you call a bunch of blondes in a freezer


frosted flakes

members i will not sell to. heli_seeker current debt 170 as of two months ago and will not pay.

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10-11-2005 07:49 AM  12 years agoPost 32
Luckylandings

rrVeteran

Oregon USA

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A man got onto a bus one day with both of his pants pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled girl kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls"!!!.

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,

" Is it as painful as tennis elbow?"

.......................................................................

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10-12-2005 04:34 AM  12 years agoPost 33
Ando

rrNovice

Mt. Pleasant, Texas

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This has realy happend to me. My girl and I are both blondes, but the other day she came in and I noticed that here hair has been changed to brown. I asked here why she did that and she told me, "So I won't be so stupid and ditzy" Thats my girl for you

Andrew

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10-14-2005 09:16 PM  12 years agoPost 34
Taipan

rrElite Veteran

Sydney, Australia

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Did you hear about the blonde who swam halfway across the English Channel, got tired & swam back?

A Blonde's favourite nursery rhyme is 'Humpme, Dumpme.'

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10-14-2005 09:31 PM  12 years agoPost 35
cudaboy_71

rrElite Veteran

sacramento, ca, u.s.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven.

God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven.

The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven.

The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.

Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first one."

if it ain't broke, break it.

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10-20-2005 05:31 AM  12 years agoPost 36
1974jason

rrNovice

Alberta, Canada

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How do you know that a blonde has been using the computer?


White out on the screen!!!

I'll Fly anything once!!!

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10-20-2005 08:04 AM  12 years agoPost 37
Balance

rrApprentice

Rapid City, SD, USA

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Hey, come on, now. Nobody uses white-out any more. What you see there is correction tape!!

Did you hear about the blonde who invented a helicopter ejection seat?

FOR SALE Kyosho Nexus .30 and Futaba 8UHF lots of extras

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10-20-2005 11:33 AM  12 years agoPost 38
cfranks

rrVeteran

Adelaide South​Australia

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A blind man accidentally walked into a Female-Only bar and asked for a beer. He then asks if anyone would like to hear a blonde joke. A deep voice next to him said "We realize you are blind and therefore haven't noticed but I am 250lb, a Black Belt in JuJitsu and a blonde. Next to me is a state champion weight lifter, also a blonde. The bar tender in front of you is 6 ft tall and blonde and on the other side of you are two professional wrestlers, also blonde. Perhaps you would like to reconsider telling your blonde joke" After thinking about it for a while, the guy says "OK then; I would hate to have to explain it 5 times."

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10-20-2005 03:39 PM  12 years agoPost 39
ChrisMoore

rrApprentice

Bay Village, OH

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cfranks--Good one.


What do you call pigtails on a blonde?


handlebars!!! uh oh!

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10-20-2005 04:06 PM  12 years agoPost 40
FireandH2O

rrNovice

Pensacola, Fl 32507

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Q: What does a bottle blonde and a 747 have in common?


A: They both have black Boxes.

Q: Why do blondes like cars with tilt steering?


A: More Headroom.

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