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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Pilots and Flight attendants
05-06-2005 03:35 AM  12 years agoPost 1
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

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What do you call twenty flight attendants in a basement?
A whine cellar
What is the difference between a flight attendant and a jet engine?
The engine stops whining at the gate.
Why does it take a flight attendant 5 minutes to open a carton of
orange juice?
It says, "CONCENTRATE."
What does a retired flight attendant do when she's nostalgic for her
job?
Stands in front of the bathroom sink and eats.
How do you get flight attendant into a hotel room?
Make a sound like an ice machine.
How do you get a senior flight attendant into the cockpit?
Grease her hips and put a Twinkie on the instrument panel.
How do you get a pilot out of the cockpit?
Tell him a USA Today was left in First Class.
How do you get flight attendant into the aisle?
Drag a Twinkie on a string.
What's the difference between a senior flight attendant and a whale?
20lbs and a navy suit.
What's the difference between a senior flight attendant and a pitbull?
Lipstick
What do you call a crew of senior flight attendants in a sauna?
"Gorillas in the Mist"
What do you call a crew of senior flight attendants in a pool?
Sea World
How do you determine a senior flight attendant's date of employment?
Carbon dating.
What does a senior flight attendants have between her breasts?
Her navel.
What does a captain use for birth control?
His personality.
How was copper wire invented?
Two pilots found a penny at the same time.
What's the difference between a pilot and God?
God doesn't think he's a pilot.

It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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05-06-2005 03:47 AM  12 years agoPost 2
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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have you had some issues with Flight attendants...

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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05-06-2005 04:32 AM  12 years agoPost 3
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

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I've spent over half my life putting up with F/A, And to add to my misery I married one.


It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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05-06-2005 04:41 AM  12 years agoPost 4
Peter65

rrKey Veteran

Roxby Downs, South Australia.

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Now I understand the Barracuda

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

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05-06-2005 01:30 PM  12 years agoPost 5
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Believe me Peter, not even God in all his wisdom can understand the barracuda. That's why I've spent 56 years trying.


It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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