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HelicopterMain Discussion › How do you guys manage you family time and flying
05-03-2005 02:30 PM  12 years agoPost 1
patriot21

rrKey Veteran

Byron,MN

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Just wondering.....
Here is my situation.... I have a 2 year old..daughter which i love to spend time with,,,
I think if my wife had it her way i would fly like once a week. My goal this summer is to put in about 2 nights during the week and at least 1 morning either saturday or sunday.... is this asking too much.... my daughter is number 1 of course!!! My wife and i seem to get in arguments over this all the time...She doesn;'t like going to the field and i rather not have her and my daughter there due to the dangers of this hobby. what do you guys do to work things out....

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05-03-2005 02:42 PM  12 years agoPost 2
lucidretro

rrNovice

wolverhampton

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has your wife got a hobby?
is there something or somewhere near the field that they could go to
good luck to you

wendy
black country models

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05-03-2005 02:43 PM  12 years agoPost 3
Saint728

rrProfessor

Honolulu, Hawaii

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I think you need to do things with your family first and if there is time, then you can fly. I would just go flying on the weekend either early in the morning or late afternoon when they are sleeping or doing something else. I stay up late and work on my helicopters and things after my girl friend goes to sleep. She doesn't mind me working on them or flying them so I don't have a problem trying to find time for this hobby. If I had children living with me it would be a different story. It's kind of hard when you have a small child to find the time to do everything with them and time for the hobby as well. I guess you will have to find some time durring the week to fly or try juggling between the family and the hobby on the weekend. I would just wake up really early and get to the field for an hour or two then go back home and spend the rest of the day with the family.

Take Care,
Cheers, Patrick

Check the hotties in my Gallery
http://rc.runryder.com/helicopter/gallery/9019/?all=photo

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05-03-2005 02:45 PM  12 years agoPost 4
yugi

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Maryland

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I have 2 boys ages 4 and 8. I always feel guilty when flying but I make sure I spend time with them either before or after flying. You can also use the sim at home to keep your skills up and play with the kids.


Yugi

If you keep doing the same thing…...you’re going to get the same results!

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05-03-2005 02:46 PM  12 years agoPost 5
Gary

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Crosby, Texas

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You are going to get a wide range of responses to this I'm sure. Personally, it has to be a give and take thing. Is it asking too much? Only your wife can answer that one. I've been in RC since the early 80's and my kids are grown now but back then when they were small it was a juggling act.

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05-03-2005 03:06 PM  12 years agoPost 6
BarracudaHockey

rrMaster

Jacksonville FL

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You have to be immune to the wife's "sad eyes" when your packing the car to leave.

Andy
AMA 77227
http://www.jaxrc.com

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05-03-2005 03:10 PM  12 years agoPost 7
armageddon

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N. Y.

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Hate to tell you this, but there may be nothing you can do about it...
Some wives will never understand.. They see helis as toys for kids..

Just do what you have to do and take care of your responsibilities.
I think if my wife had it her way i would fly like once a week.
You are lucky.. That is more than some wives would like..

Enjoy yourself, you only live once..

.

WHAT SIGNATURE?

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05-03-2005 03:34 PM  12 years agoPost 8
helibird

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St. George, UT

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Unfortunetly it is a juggling contest. I have two children 3 & 6. At first my wife didn't understand and would get mad. Things have gotten a little better, she still doesn't understand the attraction but has come to realize that it is good for me to have a release. The big thing that seems to have helped is to be honest and let her know when and how long you are going to be gone and then hold to that. I still get dirty looks when I tell her Saturday morning I'm goind to be gone for 4 hrs but not nearly as bad as when I would tell her an hr and be gone for 4! It also has gotten better because my 6 yr old boy likes coming with me to the field so he can ride his bike around on the trails behind the field.

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05-03-2005 03:37 PM  12 years agoPost 9
scotter

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Winston-Salem, NC

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It's tough to find a balance

I have three children myself (son age 7, twin girls age 5), plus a wife who never seems to be satisfied with how much time I spend with her and the family. I wish I could say I had a system that worked, but I don't think I'm there yet. What has worked so far is including them where possible. Where possible I take the kids with me, and sometimes the wife too if it's a nice day. The kids play with soccer ball or just plain run around. My wife will read a book or sometimes we'll pack a picnic meal to take with us. On nice days this works great and keeps the tension off. However, I have to be willing to compromise. Usually this means staying at the field for no more than three hours, getting four or five flights at most, and spending some of my time paying attention to the kids. It helps if some of my buddies at the field bring their kids too, 'cause then they can all play together.
That all being said, I'm lucky if I get to the field and fly once per week. At our field we're not allowed to fly before 10am or after 6pm on the weekends, so my flying pretty much has to be during the prime times of the day. I'm open to suggestions.

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05-03-2005 04:00 PM  12 years agoPost 10
caz

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Warwickshire

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Compromise.
We both fly so we fortunately dont have this problem.However you are not alone.
Alot of the guys that fly are in the same boat.
Sit down with your wife and set a flying schedule that suits you both.
We mainly fly on a Sunday which suits us both as we work in the week and spend time doing family things after school or on a Saturday.

Its not easy when your other half doesnt understand the attraction but it could be worse, you could be out on the town with your buddies checking out the ladies

If your at the flying field your either flying,chatting or tinkering with helis

Caz

You're only young once; you can be immature forever.

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05-03-2005 04:14 PM  12 years agoPost 11
wakeboarder2342

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USA

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If i were you id be happy with once a week... I dont have any kids but my work shedule makes so i only fly for 2 or 3 hours on saturday morning, which in my opionon is enough. Sure i would probably like to fly more, however you have to consider what is most important. You have to admit that your wife has a point, these are toys, they do nothing but amuse us which is the point of a toy, which isnt a problem except when it interferes with other things that are more important, such as family. The bottom line is, if your wife is willing to let you fly for 3 hours every saturday then i would be happy with that.. Just think of all the money you will save on fuel!!! not to mention when you only do it once a week it is that much more fun to look forward to, and you will be able to do it for years and years and still be progressing and not have it get boring...

just my .02 cents

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05-03-2005 04:16 PM  12 years agoPost 12
helibird

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St. George, UT

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The problem with scheduling is with my luck it will rain or be to windy to fly.
it could be worse, you could be out on the town with your buddies checking out the ladies
Exactly!! My wifes first husband sat around smoked pot and played his PS2 all day, meanwhile they could barely pay their bills, but I get sh_t for flying rc helicopters. It's just kind of frustrating, why don't women get hobbies? I would be happy if my wife would find some kind of hobby she could be passionate about (not counting shopping). It just would be nice if they could make themselves happy instead of having to rely on someone else to make them happy. They always feel threatened just because we have something else in our lives.

I realize I'm generalizing women, but so far this pretty much describes all my relationships.

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05-03-2005 04:34 PM  12 years agoPost 13
Kinger

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Granville, OH

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It's a BIG balancing act plain and simple. I've got a two year old son and my wife and I have another baby coming in the month of June. Basically, I try to get to the field maybe once a week for a couple of hours and then one time during the weekend for a few hours. Sometimes it's more and sometimes it's less, you just have to be flexible. If you make a devoted effort to flying during those hours instead of chatting with buds it's surprising how many flights you can get in with that small window. Purchasing Duralites was also great in that regard because I didn't have to be down for charging after two or three flights.

Recently I've tried to take my son with me (if I know buddies will be at the field that can keep an eye on him while I'm flying) just to give my wife a break which she seems to appreciate. When the new baby gets here, I'm not sure how we'll do it, but the key is to try and give her equal time to do the things she would like to do without having to watch the kids. The kids are only young once and you have your entire life to enjoy the hobby so don't go crazy if you are not living out at the field like some of your buds. (Tough to do I know........)

Anyway, another thing to consider is your use of the sim. Doesn't replace the real thing, but using it when your wife and kids hit the sack or during nap times really makes you more productive when you do get to fly the real thing. You won't feel so behind the 8 ball with your flying skills in comparison to your buds if you at least get some stick time on the sim.

Believe me, I suffer all the time from "wouldn'titbeawesomeifIcouldbeat thefieldrightnowitis", but just like the rest of things in life you can't always have everything

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05-03-2005 04:39 PM  12 years agoPost 14
rpat

rrElite Veteran

Weirton, W. Va.

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I want to give my two cents on this issue. If you guys have to feel guilty about going out to the field after you have done your responsibility to the wife and kids( and I emphisize AFTER YOU HAVE DONE YOU FATHERLY AND WIFELY DUTIES) then there is something wrong with your marriage. If you have the kind of wife that keeps a ring in your nose all of the time and wants to keep you tied to the post all of the time then I can't feel sorry for you guys that let that happen to you.
I know that this is going to start a real storm, but if you have the kind of woman that want's s to run your life and make you miserable than go ahead.......it is your grief.

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05-03-2005 04:47 PM  12 years agoPost 15
Brian Weekley

rrApprentice

Victoria, BC Canada

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FWIW

I've been flying R/C for 46 years and if you are like me you will never get enough flying no matter how flexible your family is. There will always be a new challenge or a new aspect of the hobby that is worthy of your passion. Over the years I have seen lots of guys show up at the flying field and spend all of their spare time and family's spare cash on RC. Many have ended up selling everything off as part of the divorce settlement.

My view is that family MUST come first and your actual flying time has to fit into that priority. Don't give your wife the sense that she is playing second fiddle to your models or you and your family will live to regret it. If you need to get in more flying time buy yourself a foamy or a Trex and ft in some more time at the nearest park.

Try to get your wife to realize that you also need some down time to pursue your friends and hobby at the field. Most women are pretty good about this and if yours isn't ... you picked her pal so work it out.

For me a couple of flying sessions per week and a couple of events per year seemed to keep my wife's stress level down. Some years I flew a lot more but a little bit of static always surfaced. It helps if you can get your wife involved in a hobby herself and believe me baby sitting the children while you go flying is not considered a hobby.

B.

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05-03-2005 04:47 PM  12 years agoPost 16
darrens

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United Kingdom

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I have just ordered an ice pick so I can get back into my ice covered abode after I have been flying! Sometimes the reception is a little frosty.
Give and take is all I can suggest, I fly every Sunday for about 5 weeks and then take a couple of weeks brake. Not to say that pacifies the wife, but we are still together!!!!

He who dies with the most toys is the winner!

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05-03-2005 05:03 PM  12 years agoPost 17
reilly13

rrApprentice

Binghamton, NY

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I have a 1 year old with another on the way and have both settled into an understanding. At first I got the look too.
She gets her nails done every couple weeks, has dinner with a girlfriend here or there. I also spend every free minute with my son to try and free her up around the house to do her own things there. I always keep her "in the red" if you will. Owing me, time wise, so that when it's time to go fly she doesn't have much recourse or argument. She gets more help with our son than any other mother I know!

I also try and combine activities.....Steak Night with the guys, flying before hand.
Bring the heli to work, don't work late and go fly for an hour or two.
Then it's less obvious that you're taking this chuck out of the day to go fly.

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05-03-2005 05:30 PM  12 years agoPost 18
playfair

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Rochester, NY

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Wow, I got it pretty good compared to some of you guys!

I have 3 kids (2,5,9) and a loving wife of 10.5 years.

I get out at least a couple hours 3-4 days a week, sometimes more in the event of a rare streak of good weather.

The trick is setting fair boundries- if the fam doesn't tolerate 1 or 2 days a week (which is MORE than fair), then take 5!
Suddenly 2 won't look so bad (Of course, this is at your own risk :c)

Since I started in this hobby over a year ago, other outside interests have stalled while I concentrate on RC helis.
Fortunately, my wife is a sweetheart and allows this a little more than my fair share. She'll take the kids to practice so I get time out, to the grocery store, and even to the Gym sometimes. Though I do my part so she can get out as well, I'm surely getting the better end of the stick!

As far as a realistic compromise, like reilly13, I try to get out of work a little early on nice days so the fam life isn't too effected, even if it involves a few hours of vacation time. If dinner is missed once in a while, my loss. I used to work a ton of extra hours (a lot less fun than flying), but am now getting used to less $.

The bad part is when there are repairs to make at home! These usually need to be done after everyone else goes to bed.


The sky is our canvas

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05-03-2005 06:05 PM  12 years agoPost 19
BC Don

rrElite Veteran

Calgary, AB Canada

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Life is a compromise. Marriage even so - kids or not.

IMHO (based upon over 30 years of marriage, 6 kids and 3.2 grandkids).

Both spouses have to have "time to themselves". You fly Helis, make sure she does something "just for her", even if it is going to the library, lunch with her Mom or whatever.

Child Rearing is a joint responsibility. Plan schedules in advance. Some evenings you get off, some she gets off, sometimes you both need to go away for a dirty weekend and drop the kids off with a grandparent / relative / sitter.

When your wife complains that "something is wrong", it is time to sit up and listen. Often that's all it takes and perhaps a slight adjustment.

But then this is only what's worked for me and is based upon mine and my wife's personalities. Others may not find this workable.

Good luck (oh and I generally get to fly on Sat and Sun mornings for about 3 hours, occasionally take most of a day and rarely fly in the evenings).

Got Money? Send it to me, I'm a Heli Addict.

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05-03-2005 06:55 PM  12 years agoPost 20
Wa11banger

rrElite Veteran

Huntsville, Al

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Like it has been said over and over its a compromise. I would like to add this tho. Your daughter is 2, you only get one shot at the younger days for each child they are some of the best moments in your life. I missed out on my daughters younger days to some extent because of the Navy, but I managed to get most of my son' s. I regret not getting that time with my daughter and the bond between us is not as tight as it could have been if I had been around.

Now with that said lets get to the wife lol.. I managed to get lucky and get mine involved. She likes it so far although she is not much past hovering, and if you make it a family affair by getting them involved( if you can), or maybe BBQ'ing at the field and having her and the daughter come out for a lunch, or whatever you can do as to not be taken as ignoring her. Or mix a movie and some dinner in after flying it is great trade deal.

Most of us have gone overboard at one time or another (im still in overboard lol) but you can balance it out. Good time management and realizing what you and your family can do with your addiction are part of the overall picture. If you and your wife are arguing over flying it is time to maybe sit down and find out why. Is it you have other time consuming things and this is just another one on the pile which make her feel there is no "Family time". Or is she being somewhat unfair and not compromising with you on an outlet that you have chosen for a little "you" time. There are so many combinations of how this can go bad or be worked out, that the resolutions are many and personalized to each couple.

I use this hobby as my escape from everyday life.. Since it takes up a lot of time I have tailored down the myriad of other things that I used to do so as to balance a little time out. My children are older now and have become very independent giving me more time away so to speak.

I have rambled on long enough lol Good luck to you and the resolve you come to

Rick

Proud member of the Quick UK, Duralite Flight Systems, V-Blade, & KBDD team

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