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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › "Lost" Hallmark Cards
05-02-2005 06:56 PM  12 years agoPost 1
CACTUSJACK (RIP)

rrApprentice

State of Confusion

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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
What the hell was I thinking?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you.
I've changed my mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I must admit, you brought Religion into my
life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my
back?
You'll probably need it again.
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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky &
West Virginia
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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have been friends for a very long time
let's say we stop?
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I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
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So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.


.

X5X7 Animum Vestrum Negotium Agatis

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05-02-2005 07:01 PM  12 years agoPost 2
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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love the first one ...

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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05-02-2005 07:08 PM  12 years agoPost 3
CACTUSJACK (RIP)

rrApprentice

State of Confusion

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

The last one's my favorite.

.

X5X7 Animum Vestrum Negotium Agatis

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05-02-2005 07:17 PM  12 years agoPost 4
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

I must admit, you brought Religion into my
At least that's what the barracuda calls it


It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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