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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Subject: Accident Report
12-12-2004 11:18 PM  13 years agoPost 1
Peter65

rrKey Veteran

Roxby Downs, South Australia.

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Read this and try and picture it happening.....

This is an accident report which was printed in the newsletter of The
British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is the
bricklayer's report, a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have walked away with a Darwin Award for sure!

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information In
Block_3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley,which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in
block _11 of the accident report form that my Weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, lost my pesence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a Rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly.

The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto me.

This explains the two broken legs.

Sorry if this has been posted before?

.

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

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12-12-2004 11:31 PM  13 years agoPost 2
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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I got his sign right here


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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12-12-2004 11:36 PM  13 years agoPost 3
Peter65

rrKey Veteran

Roxby Downs, South Australia.

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Stephen, I'd rather save the birds and eat a pussy

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

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12-13-2004 03:48 AM  13 years agoPost 4
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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Peter
the TV show Myth Busters
just did a segment on this story
pretty cool
not so for the test dummy Buster

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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12-13-2004 11:03 AM  13 years agoPost 5
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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LOL


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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12-13-2004 08:10 PM  13 years agoPost 6
YSRRider

rrElite Veteran

usa

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so was it possible? sounds like it to me!

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