1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if
you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon
as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons
is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I
already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female,
don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now you say something.
5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is,
so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If
you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a
hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity
through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're
still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think
about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I
don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone
right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I
call you back.
13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home
cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a
14. Please leave a message. However, you have right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by
15. Hello, you've reached Paul and Carolyn. We can't pick up
the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.
Carolyn likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real
slowly. So leave a message; and when we're done brushing our teeth,
we'll get back to you .