Myrtle Beach S.C.
My Posts: All Forum Topic
1. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
2. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
3. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
4. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
5. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
6. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
7. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
8. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
9. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
10. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
11. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
12. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
13. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
14. You know how most packages say "Open here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
15. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
16. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
17. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
18. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
19. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
20. If corn oil comes from corn where does baby oil come from?
21. How did a fool and his money get together to begin with?
22. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
23. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
24. What is another word for thesaurus?
25. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
26. What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
27. Why is abbreviation such a long word?
28. Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
29. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
30. How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
31. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
32. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
33. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
34. Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
35. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
36. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
37. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
38. Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges?
39. If your nose runs and your feet smell, are you built upside down?
40. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
41. If cops hang out at donut shops, why don't bakers hang out at police stations?
42. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
43. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
44. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
45. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
46. Is there another word for synonym?
47. Isn't is a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do a 'practice'?
48. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
49. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
50. Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
51. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
52. Why do they report power outages on TV?
53. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
54. Is it possible to be totally partial?
55. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
56. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
57. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
58. If the funeral procession is at night, do people drive with their headlights off?
59. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
60. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
61. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
62. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
63. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
64. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
65. Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one?
66. Where can you buy the key to a lock of your hair?
67. Can your eyes be called an school, because there are pupils there?
68. Is the crown of your head where jewels are found?
69. What crosses the bridge of your nose?
70. Can you beat the drum of your ear?
71. Can the crook in your elbow be sent to jail?
72. How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?
73. If you wanted to shingle the roof of your mouth, would you use the nails on your toes?
74. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all drown?
I like #23 and 38
post your favorite
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.