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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Subject: Rectum Stretcher?????
12-10-2004 02:43 AM  13 years agoPost 1
helidog

rrApprentice

usa

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Subject: Rectum Stretcher?????

While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit),
I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other
side lying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love asked, "What's your hurry?"

I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop. "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work
from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch it until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the heck do you do with a 6 foot a sshole?" he asked

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a bridge........"

Traffic Ticket: $95.00

Court Cost: $150.00

The Look On That Cop's Face: PRICELESS

Its nice to be the Big Dog.

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12-10-2004 02:53 AM  13 years agoPost 2
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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I could not believe the subject I had to look twice

very good


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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12-10-2004 02:53 AM  13 years agoPost 3
helidog

rrApprentice

usa

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slyons2

Its a JOKE.
But it would be fun to say that just once.

Its nice to be the Big Dog.

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12-10-2004 03:43 AM  13 years agoPost 4
cdrking

rrElite Veteran

Seattle

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Man it must be good if Ted hasn't heard it.

jeff

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12-10-2004 03:50 AM  13 years agoPost 5
rchelipilot121

rrNovice

Crap!! I'm here again!!

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read it twice, still laughing.....

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12-10-2004 06:09 AM  13 years agoPost 6
Wa11banger

rrElite Veteran

Huntsville, Al

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Ted I can't believe you were topped.. Read that one to the wife, she laughed her ass off, as I did. She is going to take it to work.. To count them all up your rectum stretcher has worked on 6 of her coworkers lol.
She works for the PD..

I am sure we will be loved tomorrow

Rick

Proud member of the Quick UK, Duralite Flight Systems, V-Blade, & KBDD team

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12-10-2004 01:54 PM  13 years agoPost 7
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

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Just sent it to everyone on my list.

It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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