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HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › Politically Correct
12-09-2004 04:52 AM  13 years agoPost 1
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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We all know how literally impossible it is to not offend SOMEONE

these days, everyone is just SO TOUCHY...

So this guide will help you on how to speak about the opposite sex in

a POLITICALLY CORRECT way...HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN

AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK -
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PROVIDER.HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGEFACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVEDESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL

DIFFERENTIALRELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL A$$ - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIALINVERSION.

is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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12-09-2004 04:56 AM  13 years agoPost 2
Sealerman

rrVeteran

Long Island, New York.

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Please tell me you copy and paste this B.S.

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12-09-2004 05:02 AM  13 years agoPost 3
Peter65

rrKey Veteran

Roxby Downs, South Australia.

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She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
I think you missed the S on the end of companion?

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

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