RunRyder RC
 11  Topic Subscribe
WATCH
 6 pages [ <<    <     1      2     ( 3 )     4      5     NEXT    >> ] 6092 views POST REPLY
HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › the cheezy joke forum
12-08-2004 10:34 PM  13 years agoPost 41
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What's the worlds biggest owl?


A tea towel


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:42 PM  13 years agoPost 42
zagidave

rrApprentice

uk.(north london)

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

is it true that canibals dont eat clowns.......because they taste funny

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:44 PM  13 years agoPost 43
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

With that one I think Ted wins. Ugh that was awful
this is great I get to clean some stuff off the old hard drive
in my regular posts if I had posted this crap there would be no
end to the flames

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:44 PM  13 years agoPost 44
zagidave

rrApprentice

uk.(north london)

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

A man forgot to buy turkey for Thanksgiving
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.

"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."

"Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

"That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man.

The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.

"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:52 PM  13 years agoPost 45
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Damn!

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang,bang,clop clop clop?
An amish drive-by shooting

How are a texas tornado and a tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:52 PM  13 years agoPost 46
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?


They're making headlines!

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:52 PM  13 years agoPost 47
Peter65

rrKey Veteran

Roxby Downs, South Australia.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Why did the dingo drop dead?
A koala fell on it

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:53 PM  13 years agoPost 48
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:56 PM  13 years agoPost 49
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:57 PM  13 years agoPost 50
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What do you call a sheep with no legs?


A cloud


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 10:59 PM  13 years agoPost 51
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What do elephants use as tampons?

Sheep


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 11:14 PM  13 years agoPost 52
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"


A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a drink.
And a mop."

What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he left for school?...Bison!

What did one frog say to the other? Time sure if fun when you're having flies.

Why do cowboys ride horses? ANSWER: Because they are too heavy to carry.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!


How do you get a Kleenex to dance? Put a little Boogie in it!!


Why are horses lousy dancers? Answer: They have two left feet.


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 11:18 PM  13 years agoPost 53
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Did you hear about the stupid tree? What a sap! I mean, what a total

knot head! Every time it was asked a question, it was stumped.

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 11:20 PM  13 years agoPost 54
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-08-2004 11:35 PM  13 years agoPost 55
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

A lunatic escapes from the funny farm and runs into a nearby village, breaks into a launderette, rapes 2 women and escapes. The newspaper headline the next day read....."Nut, screws washers and bolts!"


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-09-2004 12:27 AM  13 years agoPost 56
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

The ghost teacher was showing her class how to walk through

walls. "Now did all of you understand that?" she asked. "If not, I'll just go

through it again."

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-09-2004 12:28 AM  13 years agoPost 57
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?


Nothing. He just let out a little wine.


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-09-2004 12:30 AM  13 years agoPost 58
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

Once upon a time there was a very large office building in a very large city. This building had 40 levels: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40.

One day the owner of the building decided to get a PA system installed on every level, in case there was ever a fire and everyone in the building needed to be contacted at once. The system was installed on every level: level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40.

One day, an employee named John was doing some paperwork on the 21st level when he saw the pager for the PA system in his boss's office. He could not resist. He picked up the pager, turned it on, cleared his throat, and told a joke. It was funniest joke anyone in the building had ever heard. They were rolling in the aisles, laughing their heads off. The accountants on level 3 were in tears. The engineers on level 34 were in hysterics. In fact, workers on every level -- level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40 -- could not stop laughing.

He walked out the door of his boss's office, feeling all proud of himself, when who should he run into but his boss. "John, come with me now!" John relunctantly followed his boss back into his office. His boss looked at him with fury in his eyes. "John," he said, "your joke was very disruptive to the workers in this building! Productivity was decreased on level 1, level 2, level 3, level 4, level 5, level 6, level 7, level 8, level 9, level 10, level 11, level 12, level 13, level 14, level 15, level 16, level 17, level 18, level 19, level 20, level 21, level 22, level 23, level 24, level 25, level 26, level 27, level 28, level 29, level 30, level 31, level 32, level 33, level 34, level 35, level 36, level 37, level 38, level 39, and level 40! You're fired! Clean out your desk and get out!"

But then his frown softened and he added, "Still, I have to admit, that joke was funny on so many levels."


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-09-2004 12:39 AM  13 years agoPost 59
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

That level joke was bad, so very bad


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

PM  EMAIL  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
12-09-2004 12:47 AM  13 years agoPost 60
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

My Posts: All  Forum  Topic

A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk

into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

PM  EMAIL  HOMEPAGE  GALLERY  Attn:RR  Quote
WATCH
 6 pages [ <<    <     1      2     ( 3 )     4      5     NEXT    >> ] 6092 views POST REPLY
HelicopterOff Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles › the cheezy joke forum
 Print TOPIC  Make Suggestion 

 11  Topic Subscribe

Tuesday, April 24 - 8:00 am - Copyright © 2000-2018 RunRyder   EMAILEnable Cookies

Login Here
 New Subscriptions 
 Buddies Online