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|10-24-2004 02:05 AM 13 years ago||Post 1|
dont know if this was posted if so.. sorry...JOB APPLICATION NAME: John Kerry RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months). EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months). MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book " Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months). COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months). ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months). My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months). I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months). Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months). RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months). PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche". I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture. I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months). PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
|10-24-2004 02:11 AM 13 years ago||Post 2|
Daytona Beach, Fl.
My wife has more experience and management expertize than kerry and She never was in viet nam. And I'd still vote for her over skerry
It's hard to hit the auto s/w
|10-24-2004 02:27 AM 13 years ago||Post 3|
Since you're reposting old stuff, I thought turnabout would be fair play....all in good fun of course.Job application from George W Bush This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available next January, and is willing to relocate. For details, click on ‘Full story’. GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20520 EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement:
-- I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost” and is not available. Military:
--I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. College:
--I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader. Past Work Experience:
--I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
-- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
-- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
-- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
-- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father’s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
-- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
-- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
-- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
-- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
-- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
-- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
-- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
-- I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My “poorest millionaire,” Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
-- I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
-- I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
-- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
-- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
-- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
-- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
-- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
-- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
-- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
-- I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
-- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
-- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
-- I refused to allow inspector’s access to U.S. “prisoners of war” detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
-- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
-- I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
-- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
-- I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
-- I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
-- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
-- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
-- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
-- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
-- I am supporting development of a nuclear “Tactical Bunker Buster,” a WMD.
-- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice. RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
--All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
-- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
-- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
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