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HelicopterOff Topics › Joke
10-23-2004 04:53 PM  13 years agoPost 1
Sweatum

rrApprentice

Daytona Beach, Fl.

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A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the
horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and
rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm
grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she
slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along,
seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from
the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has
become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the
horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over
and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away
from Unconsciousness when to her great fortune..........

Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse

It's hard to hit the auto s/w

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10-23-2004 04:59 PM  13 years agoPost 2
Clayman

rrVeteran

Richer, Manitoba,​Canada

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I like that one. LMAO

If U Don't Fly U Don't Try

Trex 600 Pro OS50 Hyper

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10-25-2004 09:15 PM  13 years agoPost 3
budge

rrNovice

UK

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An old pensioner goes into see his doctor,he says"doctor,i miss the company of a good woman,i have booked an escort for tonight and i want to get my moneys worth,have you got a tablet or something to help me a bit in that department,my mind still feels young but my body cant keep up"
The doctor replies"I have an experimental tablet here that should make you perform,its very strong so for a man of your age i suggest you only take half of it"
"Give it here"the man says"i will take all of it,if it kills me it kills me,what a way to go though eh on the job like"
The doctor reluctantly gives the man the tablet and sends him on his way
2 days later the old man comes back in
"Oh you are still with us then,how did it go"the doctor said
"F**king great the old man says,F**king 29 times i did it,i was like a raging animal"
"Ah"says the doctor"let me guess,something for your bad back now is it?"
"No"the man says"something for me elbow,she never turned up!!"

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10-25-2004 09:31 PM  13 years agoPost 4
budge

rrNovice

UK

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A guy comes home from work to see 6 men in his front garden beating the crap out of his mother in law,as he watches his neighbour comes out screaming at him "come on arent you going to help",no the man said"6 should be enough.."

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10-25-2004 10:53 PM  13 years agoPost 5
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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Sweatum
That made me laugh

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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