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HelicopterOff Topics › Paddy's been drinking
10-20-2004 01:20 AM  13 years agoPost 1
Peter65

rrKey Veteran

Roxby Downs, South​Australia.

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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating Ireland's draw with Germany.

Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy" Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.

"Shoite, Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk.

He falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawled to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?".

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' p*ssed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub."
.

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

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10-20-2004 03:17 AM  13 years agoPost 2
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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that is so not right


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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10-20-2004 03:18 AM  13 years agoPost 3
debogus

rrApprentice

Beauklahoma,peoples​republic of​mexifornia,USSA

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LMAO,Thankyou

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10-20-2004 04:42 AM  13 years agoPost 4
spaceman spiff

rrKey Veteran

Tucson

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LOL!

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10-20-2004 08:42 AM  13 years agoPost 5
Colibri

rrKey Veteran

The Netherlands

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LOL. Just what I needed this morning.
Thanks, Tim

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10-20-2004 03:43 PM  13 years agoPost 6
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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OMG that's good


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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