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HelicopterOff Topics › This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING
05-01-2004 05:12 AM  13 years agoPost 1
S_Owen

rrApprentice

Wichita Falls, TX.

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If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.

It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles . It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.

It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.

Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

[b]Murphy's Constant:[/b] Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

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05-01-2004 05:16 AM  13 years agoPost 2
Salty

rrElite Veteran

St. Augustine

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wow...deep thoughts man

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05-01-2004 05:21 AM  13 years agoPost 3
Ted Toth

rrElite Veteran

Myrtle Beach S.C.

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It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub
how can I get this to my mother-inlaw


.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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05-01-2004 06:41 AM  13 years agoPost 4
Drunk Monk

rrProfessor

Preston, UK

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It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number
Some virus' just go too far


Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

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05-02-2004 07:59 AM  13 years agoPost 5
Fullagas

rrKey Veteran

Michigan

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.
Too Late!

I opened it about 31 years ago when I got married.

(Can a virus back-date itself?)


.

Flying helis since gyros had springs.

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