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spaceman spiff

Key Veteran

Tucson

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The question of the ages is finally answered!

You can not teach a crab to walk straight.

07-28-2016 01:33 AM
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Gearhead

rrMaster

Vt

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how about the parking lot thing, after all these years I still go threw it with my wife every time we go to Price Chopper

parking the car

me) "honey park here",

the wife) (quote) "that spot over there is 3 spots closer to the door",

me) "but we are in this lane and you can park here now and walk the extra 15ft"

the wife) "I know but"..

Jim
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07-28-2016 05:18 AM
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spaceman spiff

Key Veteran

Tucson

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I recomend - "Here have some wine".

A nice Shiraz, goes well with steak, and parking lots.

You can not teach a crab to walk straight.

07-28-2016 06:41 AM
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DougsRC

rrProfessor

Mass.

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Wine is a good offering and so is a nice Chianti, liver and Fava beans She doesn't have to know where they came from but she will probably ask so be prepared

07-28-2016 10:05 AM
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CostaRicaHeli

Heliman

Costa Rica, Central America

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I sure could have used that cheat sheet 20 years ago!

Franz

07-28-2016 06:55 PM
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RM3

Elite Veteran

Killeen, Texas - USA

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dont get married and avoid all that BS to begin with...

showing a preference will only get you into trouble, 90% of everything is crap...

07-28-2016 07:44 PM
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spaceman spiff

Key Veteran

Tucson

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Avoid wine women and song.

Mostly song.

You can not teach a crab to walk straight.

07-28-2016 08:23 PM
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GyroFreak

rrProfessor

Orlando Florida ...28.49N 81.22W

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I think about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, then wonder what I'm here after ?

07-29-2016 03:59 AM
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DougsRC

rrProfessor

Mass.

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That picture says it all GyroFreak

07-29-2016 07:51 PM
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blade3d

Elite Veteran

New Jersey USA

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Complicated all that is, FIRST you need to remove the LEASH she has around your neck. Then tell he there are billions of holes in the world and keep moving. BTW you will need a pair of Balls.

Blade3d

08-07-2016 01:19 AM
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Gearhead

rrMaster

Vt

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it's easy

a man's mind thinks like a PCM Radio Wave,

a women's mind thinks like a Sparkler

Jim
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08-07-2016 04:55 AM
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RM3

Elite Veteran

Killeen, Texas - USA

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monogamy is not realistic while your penis still works...

showing a preference will only get you into trouble, 90% of everything is crap...

08-07-2016 05:11 AM
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blade3d

Elite Veteran

New Jersey USA

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There is hope, the leash breaker is,,tell the woman if you want me to be loyal to you in body then ill want you to be loyal to me in mind listen to only me. If she wont do it then it is unfair for her to ask you to be loyal in body to her. LEASH BREAKER now go out and be with as many woman you want to be with/PEACE.

Blade3d

08-07-2016 05:45 AM
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nitro fun

Senior Heliman

wilmington ca

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how to talk to a woman
It will take a book with more pages then obamacare....

08-10-2016 09:11 AM
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sjgusmc21

Senior Heliman

San Antonio, Texas

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blade3d:

There is hope, the leash breaker is,,tell the woman if you want me to be loyal to you in body then ill want you to be loyal to me in mind listen to only me. If she wont do it then it is unfair for her to ask you to be loyal in body to her. LEASH BREAKER now go out and be with as many woman you want to be with/PEACE.

Are you related to Greyeagle by chance? Just curious....

08-10-2016 11:47 AM
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blade3d

Elite Veteran

New Jersey USA

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Are you always so indirect ? You'll never get the leash off that way you need to be straight forward or you can come out from under the rock you been living under

Blade3d

08-11-2016 03:52 AM
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Gearhead

rrMaster

Vt

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you want to know about women and how to talk to them, well it's story time,

ye-ars back in my mid 20s, my 2 best friends (Jeff and Paul) wanted me to go to the bar and drink with them, these 2 guys were out for fun, they wanted to get plastered, you see these 2 guys were bigger drinkers than I was. standing there Paul had this sh!t eating grin going, so as I smiled I asked him what he was up to, and his grin got bigger,,

these 2 went on telling me that women got-off on these 2 talking terribly nasty dirty talk, they told me they would stand behind women at the bar and start swearing and calling each other dirty-nasty names, and the women loved it,,

I didn't believe it because these 2 could get pretty bad at times, so I went to the bar with them, I had to see it,

so after 4 or 5 beers these 2 moved over and stood behind a table with 4 very-very-very hot babes, I mean these babes were 10s,, and these guys started their crap and I was standing right there beside them,,

well these 2 got really sick, I mean nasty dirty mouthed, they got so nasty I couldn't stand next to them any more, I had to walked away, I went and sat on a stool at the bar and watched them,

my god, the next thing I saw was the hottest babe at the table turned and asked Paul what his name was, just like that "what's your name", I never forgot, she ask with an up-lift in her voice as if she was excited,, yes,

my mouth dropped !!!!

Paul looks over at me with this huge smile,, my mouth is open,, I'm thinking that Paul is going to be humping this hot chick that surly is way-way-way too hot for him,,

but wait, what did I say above, what did I say ??

didn't I say that these 2 guys are out to get plastered,,, yeeaa I did

so Paul with this big smile turned to her and bent over and asked her "what did you say"

and the chick says again "what is your name"

my mouth is still open !!!

well you could spend a billion years guessing but you would never guess what Paul said to her,

and the girl couldn't see the back of Paul's shirt, right !

Paul says>>>>>>>>>>, "Bag" ,,, <yeeaa that's right>, Paul tells the girl his name is "Bag", (B) (A) (G)> Bag,

well on the back of Paul's shirt it said "Bag",, Paul had the shirt made up for himself at the Fair, it was a joke between Jeff and Paul>>> Bag as in Scrotum

well the girl was disrespected and she turns back around to her friends,

I look at those 2 guys, and they are standing there looking at me smiling like they each just won 5 million dollars,,, they have proved to me what they set-out to prove,,

it blew my mind,,,,, but Paul disrespected that girl and she was done with him, soon after the 4 girls left the bar

LOL those 2 were always doing something screwy like that, so it was just another night in Vermont LOL

I went over to Paul and Jeff and I told Paul that he blew it with her, and that he could have got laid,, Paul said he didn't care, he said he was there to get drunk, not humped

hey, did I make a rhyme there

Jim
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08-11-2016 06:00 AM
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spaceman spiff

Key Veteran

Tucson

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Bag? Crazy. I would have said " Hi i am Jim, have some wine. "

You can not teach a crab to walk straight.

08-12-2016 03:15 AM
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Gearhead

rrMaster

Vt

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Hi i am Jim, have some wine
LOL
Bag? Crazy
yeeaa, those 2 got sick for a while, Jeff had a shirt made up that read "Bottom Out" on the back

BTW, I am married to Jeff's sister LOL

Jim
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08-13-2016 02:05 AM
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dilberteinstein

Heliman

texas - USA

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spaceman spiff

I recomend - "Here have some wine".
That's my philosophy...and we're passed 50 years of marriage...so I can safely say "it works"

90% of life is "showing up"

08-13-2016 05:52 AM
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