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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > women
 
 
trashcar
Heliman
Location: somerville ohio usa

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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
11-02-2009 01:04 PM
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rccaw
Senior Heliman
Location: La Palma, Calif.

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Good one! you're the man.
11-02-2009 09:03 PM
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Bundian
Senior Heliman
Location: Miami, FL USA

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ROFL!

Fly it like you stole it!!!
11-02-2009 09:59 PM
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u8mydog
New Heliman
Location: Ottawa, Ont

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LOL

msx/msr/b400/trex500/rap30/knight50
11-03-2009 03:32 AM
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trickytiker
Senior Heliman
Location: england

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brill

i have problems with spelling
11-03-2009 11:28 PM
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Hobby Hut . Heli Wholesaler . JR-Spektrum

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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > women
 
 
chopper_crazy
Elite Veteran
Location: Delphos, Ohio

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ha ha. Even my girlfriend thought that was funny

It's a complex, costly, glow powered anti-gravity machine!
11-05-2009 01:55 AM
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CANOMOD . Experience RC . Heli-Max

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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > women
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