TaleGunner
Elite Veteran
Location: Deer Park WA
My Posts This: Topic Forum | 1. helidevil tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. helidevil doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Manny Lalo is Manny Lalo.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, helidevil instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. helidevil sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled 3D Helicopter ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Manny Lalo had a 3D showdown with the devil his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
5. helidevil does not sleep. He just lays there and practices his Mad 3D Skillz while simming on G3.5 with his eyes closed.
6. helidevil once Kaos'd a heli so hard that his tail boom broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Amelia Earhart was impressed by the mad 3D Skillz.
7. helidevil built a 3D Helicopter time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Manny Lalo stopped all three bullets with his helicopter by doing Kaos's 2 feet off the deck, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement. Not even JFK has seen 3D Skillz like Manny Lalo's.
8. helidevil is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Manny Lalo
9. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. helidevil smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by doing continous pirouetting flips for 30 minutes all the while reversing direction each piro rotation. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
10. The chief export of helidevil is pain.
11. helidevil is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
12. helidevil won the 2006 XFC in Muncie, IN without ever flying his heli. He simply put on a Mad 3D show on the G3.5 flight sim in the pits, and the rest of the competition simply forfeited.
13. helidevil lost his virginity before his dad did.
14. helidevil was the fourth Wise Man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of Mad 3D Skillz. Jesus 3D'd his own helicopter proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Manny Lalo omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
This was also the first occurance in the bible where MAD 3D Skillz appeared.
15. If you can see helidevil, he can see you. If you can’t see Manny Lalo you may be only seconds away from death.
16. helidevil doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs and then he does continuous Kaos's over them, grazing the tops untill they explode. Then he puts on another Mad 3D show.
17. When helidevil sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, and his helicopter. Manny Lalo has not had to pay taxes ever.
18. helidevil can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.
19. helidevil once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress, and later impressed her with his mad 3D Skillz!
20. Filming on location for helidevil: EXTREME 3D DVD, Manny Lalo brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Manny Lalo roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Lalo giveth, and the good Lalo, he taketh away.
21. When helidevil plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
22. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending helidevil with some Mad 3D helicopter skillz. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
23. helidevil once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
24. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “helidevil –more than meets the eye, helidevil –robot in disguise,” and starred helidevil as a 3D Pilot who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into an Avant Aurora. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
25. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by helidevil.
CRASH! GLUE! REPEAT!
Spectra-G, Ion X-2 |
The guy still has more ***** than me 
