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Heli Wholesaler . JR-Spektrum . E-flite

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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > Some jokes
 
 
XQZME
Heliman
Location: Boynton Beach, (South-Florida) - USA

My Posts This: Topic  Forum

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a Friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a Male or female horse.

"A female horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?

So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"?

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point,
But he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's Fanny,

Pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

"Perhapth I should rephwase that.

Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
08-25-2007 04:33 PM
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XQZME
Heliman
Location: Boynton Beach, (South-Florida) - USA

My Posts This: Topic  Forum
This morning, I was in a huge hurry and on my way to work. I was preoccupied with what my day held and I rear-ended a car at a stop light because I was not really paying attention. I had hot coffee in my lap and I was running late. "Great, just great", I moaned.

The driver opened his door........leaned out of his car and stared at me. He was a dwarf. He got out, studied the damage on his bumper, and walked towards me as I rolled down my window. He said, "I am not
Happy..."

To which I replied, "Well..... which one are you then
08-25-2007 04:35 PM
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XQZME
Heliman
Location: Boynton Beach, (South-Florida) - USA

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Church:

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."

The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher said, "No sh!t?"
08-25-2007 04:40 PM
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XQZME
Heliman
Location: Boynton Beach, (South-Florida) - USA

My Posts This: Topic  Forum
Pancakes:

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some
hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"

"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."
08-25-2007 04:42 PM
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